By therewasnocurtain - United States - Lewiston Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML I agree, your life sucks 35934 You deserved it 2523 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, after taking my clothes out of the washer, I noticed at the very bottom of the washer my boyfriend's USB stick I found a couple of days ago. The USB stick contains his English essay, and his novel he has been working on for almost six months. FML I agree, your life sucks 14197 You deserved it 32238 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got to a patient having a seizure and was approached by a bystander who said to me, "I have pharmaceutical grade essential oils, and they recommend Frankincense for seizures." Thank you? FML I agree, your life sucks 1673 You deserved it 109 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RAB - 18/7/2020 02:02 Lovin' it Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1834 You deserved it 140 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Queen Creek Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML I agree, your life sucks 15431 You deserved it 33449 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatelongflights - United States Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML I agree, your life sucks 37672 You deserved it 3004 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML I agree, your life sucks 17929 You deserved it 27812 264 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By dickofbrokendreams - United States - Waynesville Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML I agree, your life sucks 36860 You deserved it 3457 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By onlywantuanyway Double standards Today, my boyfriend again told me how he wants to have an open relationship. Of course, this means he can do what he likes with anyone, but if I so much as kiss someone else, I'm a cheating slut. FML I agree, your life sucks 53739 You deserved it 8262 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Patrick - 29/10/2020 03:08 - Trinidad and Tobago - Couva What? Today, my coworker got a raise by making our boss give me a pay cut for doing his job while he was slacking off. As we were heading home for the day, he found $100. FML I agree, your life sucks 1096 You deserved it 67 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Catois - United States Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML I agree, your life sucks 25679 You deserved it 13135 111 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By greatly disturbed - United States - Elk Grove Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML I agree, your life sucks 42469 You deserved it 4299 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada - Fort Smith Today, for Mother's Day, I surprised my Mother with the news I that I'll be visiting in June. The last time we got to visit was 4 years ago, we live 4000 miles apart and it's a very expensive trip. She said, "No, come next June, I want to lose some more weight before seeing you." FML I agree, your life sucks 13439 You deserved it 1120 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By toomuch - Australia Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML I agree, your life sucks 40213 You deserved it 12834 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got my period during my dance solo. My costume was white. FML I agree, your life sucks 5454 You deserved it 396 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML I agree, your life sucks 53495 You deserved it 2360 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ghgfd - Canada - Barrie Today, I went to the store to pick up some feminine products. As I was paying, the male cashier looked at me sympathetically and asked if it was my girlfriend's time of the month. I'm a girl and was buying them for myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 38761 You deserved it 4408 108 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mike Polk - United States Today, there was a guy following me, so to avoid him, I crouched down and basically waddled behind a wall to get past him. Sure enough, first thing I see when I get around the corner, while still waddling, was an unhappy midget couple staring right at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 31084 You deserved it 5893 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By faded as shit - United States Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML I agree, your life sucks 40456 You deserved it 5329 196 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML I agree, your life sucks 16802 You deserved it 60953 141 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Colin - France Today, I phoned up my bank's customer service department. I waited eleven minutes on hold with the lovely music, and when a woman finally picked up, I ran out of phone credit. FML I agree, your life sucks 25283 You deserved it 2998 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By really mom - United States - Montgomery Today, my mom started dipping into my college savings, just so she can continue throwing money away on visiting a medium who claims she can channel the spirit of our recently-deceased family dog. FML I agree, your life sucks 30134 You deserved it 2091 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom Today, after having a shower, I walked back into my room butt naked. As I looked up I saw the window cleaner staring right at me. I looked. He looked. And without thinking I dropped straight to the floor to hid myself, then realized my naked butt was still staring right at him. FML I agree, your life sucks 21478 You deserved it 6729 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML I agree, your life sucks 46759 You deserved it 3698 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By woohoo420 - United States - Chino Hills Today, I was so baked out of my mind that I argued with my parakeet over who farted. I could be wrong, but I think I lost the argument. Worse still, my boyfriend had been standing in the doorway long enough to hear everything, even me farting. FML I agree, your life sucks 9619 You deserved it 41304 371 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymouse Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 25781 You deserved it 2120 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Los Angeles Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML I agree, your life sucks 65635 You deserved it 6063 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kitten_Love - France - Paris Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML I agree, your life sucks 51990 You deserved it 6597 244 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhyDoINeedAName - Canada - Okotoks Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML I agree, your life sucks 51301 You deserved it 8144 208 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML I agree, your life sucks 33177 You deserved it 3437 149 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tampa Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML I agree, your life sucks 25241 You deserved it 2163 35 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam Stuhlinger - United States - Denver Today, my friend with benefits that I was starting to like forgot my name in front of his friends when they asked who I was. We've known each other for at least a year. I think this means I'm just a benefit. FML I agree, your life sucks 2388 You deserved it 795 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - West Babylon Today, a few of my friends arranged for us to go skinny-dipping with the guy I really like. It went really well, until a turd surfaced before our eyes. After we scrambled out of the pool in panic, my crush called us all freaks and left. FML I agree, your life sucks 45852 You deserved it 6075 102 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CabbageFart92 Today, a package was delivered to my house. Thinking it was my new blender, I hurriedly brought it in to open it. Inside the box was an assortment of rotten vegetables that stank like Satan's asshole. I have no idea who it's from or why they hate me so much. FML I agree, your life sucks 3445 You deserved it 285 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Poopamus Today, the police showed up at my door asking if I told this creepy guy stalking my girlfriend that I'll chop him up and bury each piece in a different country if he doesn't stop bothering my girl. I told them I did, along with an explanation. Turns out, he's been missing since that day. FML I agree, your life sucks 2492 You deserved it 494 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sluttyfox Today, I was excited to finally receive my Halloween costume in the mail after the one I ordered back in September got lost in transit. Upon reaching my mailbox, I saw the lock had been broken off and my new costume had been stolen. The party is tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 3003 You deserved it 207 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Lebanon Today, I found out that it's extremely difficult to take a dump while holding a cup under your ass for a lab specimen. I also found out that you get so nervous that you can actually forget to lock the door. FML I agree, your life sucks 29783 You deserved it 5632 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mac cayne - France - Strasbourg Today, it's been a week since I found an egg in the street that had seemingly fallen out of a nest. I'd bought a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it. It's thus been a week that I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato. FML I agree, your life sucks 28752 You deserved it 48596 1 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bethany - United Kingdom Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML I agree, your life sucks 37331 You deserved it 15785 293 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML I agree, your life sucks 27967 You deserved it 4198 246 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "willkftw" Today, despite putting all the food in the fridge, taking all the rubbish outside, cleaning the house top to bottom and setting up bait, we're still dealing with a bloody huge ant problem. I've now got a rash all over from being bitten while I sleep. FML I agree, your life sucks 1857 You deserved it 144 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HeyItsCamilo | 17 #6254812 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:02 elder people,they get to a point were they just dont give a fuck. Send a private message 305 6 Reply
By AddictGamer | 16 #6254815 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:03 Nap time is fap time. Seriously, FYL OP. No one deserves to see that, let alone hear that. Send a private message 181 3 Reply
By HeyItsCamilo | 17 #6254812 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:02 elder people,they get to a point were they just dont give a fuck. Send a private message 305 6 Reply
Reply AddictGamer | 16 #6254816 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:04 I fear for our generation as well.. Send a private message 22 6 Reply
Reply cameron6731 | 13 #6254818 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:05 I know right smfh same thing with those goddamn honey badgers. Send a private message 17 4 Reply
Reply AnOriginalName | 19 #6254852 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:29 Sounds like that guy wasn't getting a fuck either. Send a private message 42 1 Reply
Reply Pandacupcakelove | 26 #6254912 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 9:01 "When I am old I shall wear purple". Or in this man's case; "masturbate and not give a damn who's watching". Send a private message 4 23 Reply
Reply xx000o | 27 #6255004 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 12:11 Probably didn't have anything better to do. Send a private message 1 13 Reply
Reply brandoneyez1 | 25 #6255016 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 12:37 Fart! Real loud! It will be a turn off. Lol Send a private message 4 17 Reply
Reply badgercheese94 | 16 #6255217 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 16:13 #5, the sad thing is that they will do it a whole lot sooner. Like, before the first liver spot.... or before they are old enough to drink... Send a private message 1 6 Reply
Reply kaylabunny1999 | 22 #6256217 - Wednesday 8 April 2015 9:31 Or get a fuck for that matter ? Send a private message 0 2 Reply
Reply Raxy_fml | 18 #6254962 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 10:43 Well I don't think it's so bad. He was an elderly man, let him have this one. It might be his last go. Send a private message 4 23 Reply
By Scryll | 17 #6254814 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:03 Should have been going instead of coming Send a private message 37 6 Reply
Reply Nexpecto | 28 #6255516 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 22:04 A parting gift in this case is a compliment Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By AddictGamer | 16 #6254815 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:03 Nap time is fap time. Seriously, FYL OP. No one deserves to see that, let alone hear that. Send a private message 181 3 Reply
By kfchicken_fml | 27 #6254817 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:04 you're poor grandpa is stuck with that even after you leave Send a private message 86 5 Reply
By lazyslumber | 18 #6254819 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:05 Might be your grand pa is sexy when he is ill. Send a private message 4 33 Reply
Reply lazyslumber | 18 #6254872 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:55 My bad, I meant for the roomate not for everyone. Send a private message 0 23 Reply
By QQMorePlox | 18 #6254820 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:05 He's in the hospital, he could die soon, he's gotta get it done! Send a private message 10 32 Reply
Reply keiNan_fml | 35 #6254893 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 8:22 why don't you go and help? Send a private message 38 2 Reply
Reply badgercheese94 | 16 #6255219 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 16:14 #30, help what? Kill him? Okay. (Gets pillow) Send a private message 16 3 Reply
By nikkyham011 | 7 #6254822 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:06 I don't even know how to respond to that. Send a private message 4 26 Reply
Reply ShatteredPulse | 15 #6255057 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 13:00 So then just don't... Send a private message 32 0 Reply
By VitalDistance | 14 #6254827 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:08 How are things standing so far? I really hope it comes out alright for him. Send a private message 5 4 Reply
By sstahpp | 33 #6254832 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 7:10 I just came here to read the comments.. Send a private message 9 35 Reply
Reply photographer49 | 22 #6255306 - Tuesday 7 April 2015 17:54 Then read and don't comment? Send a private message 15 3 Reply
Reply sstahpp | 33 #6255910 - Wednesday 8 April 2015 3:43 Pretty sure I can comment where ever I want.. Send a private message 5 7 Reply
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 41 2 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 721 You deserved it 160 7 Comments