Today, my wife is so determined to keep me on my diet that, as I'm off work for the next week, she has gotten rid of all the food in the house. She has also taken the phones and iPads so I can't order a takeaway, and taken all my trousers so I can't walk to the shops. FML
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Top comments
By
fushengyuan
| 20
Im pretty sure if u can access fml, u can order food online:)
By
heirofhope
| 38
Better start photosynthesizing.
Comments
By
heirofhope
| 38
Better start photosynthesizing.
Reply
lifes_rough23
| 8
HAHA this is the funniest comment I've read!!
By
mariri9206
| 32
Guess you're eating air.
By
Pimpfromdowntown
| 11
what did she leave you with and how big are you?
By
crankawank
| 19
I wonder if your wife is super controlling or if you have demonstrated a severe lack of self control •_•
Reply
Letters_numbers
| 2
She is controlling either way. Being married doesn't give her the right to dictate his diet. Even if he started the diet, he has a right to change his mind.
Taking food out of the house, and articles of clothing to keep him in the house, is abusive behavior. If you don't agree, just change the pronouns.
Taking food out of the house, and articles of clothing to keep him in the house, is abusive behavior. If you don't agree, just change the pronouns.
Reply
tomvertigo
| 17
#45 - it is also possible that OP is morbidly obese and could die and his wife is trying to force him to be healthy and keep him around.
Reply
Dale_shackleford
| 13
Still way overcontrolling
By
paris_ava
| 24
Wait so you have no access to food? Sounds slightly abusive
By
fushengyuan
| 20
Im pretty sure if u can access fml, u can order food online:)
Reply
fezhafeez
| 12
i guess fml > food. OP has his priorities straight!
Reply
Phantomsnake
| 10
Dude, his wife wrote the fml and she's coming to kick your ass for your suggestion.
Reply
val_428
| 8
You know that all of the FMLs start with "Today", right? This story, most likely, happened some time ago.
By
saxaddict122
| 14
Pants-less drive thru, here you come!
By
ssnow_fml
| 20
Most places say "no shirt, no shoes, no service". Doesn't say anything about pants...
By
Tarlachia
| 33
Wrap a towel or robe around yourself, hop in the car and drive to get food. Get healthy food and you'll be rewarding yourself for staying on track.
As for your wife, I would suggest a serious chat with her. That's not a healthy practice for any marriage.
As for your wife, I would suggest a serious chat with her. That's not a healthy practice for any marriage.
By
Goblin182
| 26
You could grow a pair, take you pants, phone, iPad back and get something to eat.