Better start photosynthesizing.

HAHA this is the funniest comment I've read!!

Guess you're eating air.

what did she leave you with and how big are you?

I wonder if your wife is super controlling or if you have demonstrated a severe lack of self control •_•

She is controlling either way. Being married doesn't give her the right to dictate his diet. Even if he started the diet, he has a right to change his mind.

Taking food out of the house, and articles of clothing to keep him in the house, is abusive behavior. If you don't agree, just change the pronouns.

#45 - it is also possible that OP is morbidly obese and could die and his wife is trying to force him to be healthy and keep him around.

Still way overcontrolling

Wait so you have no access to food? Sounds slightly abusive

Im pretty sure if u can access fml, u can order food online:)

i guess fml > food. OP has his priorities straight!

Dude, his wife wrote the fml and she's coming to kick your ass for your suggestion.

You know that all of the FMLs start with "Today", right? This story, most likely, happened some time ago.

Pants-less drive thru, here you come!

Most places say "no shirt, no shoes, no service". Doesn't say anything about pants...

Wrap a towel or robe around yourself, hop in the car and drive to get food. Get healthy food and you'll be rewarding yourself for staying on track.

As for your wife, I would suggest a serious chat with her. That's not a healthy practice for any marriage.

You could grow a pair, take you pants, phone, iPad back and get something to eat.