By gassymomma - 28/04/2014 16:58 - United States - Sparta

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML
I agree, your life sucks 46 246
You deserved it 9 361

gassymomma tells us more.

Op here, I really didn't expect this to get posted. I'm 8 months pregnant so gas has become part of my daily life. I don't normal mind admitting to it but he was so worried about making sure I was safe I didn't have the heart to tell him it was just gas that scared him. Later that day while we were just sitting on the couch I farted again and he made a joke that there must be a whale at the window.

Top comments

The burglar was an excuse. He was really checking the house for exposed flames or electrical circuits.


They could just had laugh it of and then gone back to sleep. A good marriage can take it.

euphoricness 28

One time I farted and then everyone died. The end.

Shelly_Kelly 6

sounds like a "#farty" situation #lol

Maybe he knows and is being a gentleman, sparing you the embarrassment. And I'll be honest, I've done this before. And sadly, more than don't feel bad, OP.

When my girlfriend farts in front of me she pretends like nothing ever happened. lol

If your husband can't handle knowing that you simply farted OR you're too embarrassed to tell the man you've chosen to spend the rest of your life with that you farted, why the hell are you two together?

69, it wasn't just a fart. It was The Fart.

Explain to me how a fart sounds like someone breaking in

sweetprettykitty 10

Probably didn't hear the 'fart' noise, and just assumed the noise that woke him up was a robber. I know when I wake up in the middle of the night I don't necessarily know exactly what I woke up from.

Challenge accepted. Maybe OP's husband was in that weird stage between sleep and dreaming, and OP's monstrous fart startled him out from that state. Maybe he was dreaming about a break in, and because he was half asleep, the sound didn't register right and he tricked himself into thinking that there was someone pushing on the door or something. Bam. Or, OP's farts sound like shattering glass or other various robbery noises. In that case, OP should see a doctor. I happen to know a guy, he's a bastard, though.

gjikvtj 18

Maybe their fart was so high pitched it shattered glass

Whatever happened to docbastard? I haven't seen his comments in ages

oh god I miss docbastard his comments were always the greatest

Hiimhaileypotter 52

He's still floating around... Unless I'm mistaken, I saw him comment around 2-3 weeks ago. I don't get on the app much anymore though (due to lack of internet much of the time) and I don't stalk Doc, so I could be wrong! Haha.

ThomasBombadil 31

The burglar was an excuse. He was really checking the house for exposed flames or electrical circuits.

Looool, I was thinking maybe he wanted to leave the room and spare OP from further embarrassment when he turns pale from the smell!

Ali_Br_fml 33

You're so lucky he left the room before the stench of your fart spread to him. Well, actually he's the lucky one...

maybe that's secretly why he wanted to leave the room and he just made an excuse ;)

Yeah, when his eyes started to water, he knew what happened. That's pretty quick thinking to come up with that excuse though.

Well if someone was trying to break in you scared them off good job OP

I think he's lying. He's trying to get out of the room before the smell kills him.

You've gotta own your farts! There should be no shame in your fart game...