Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to sneak into the shower at her house while her parents went out to eat and a movie. Half way through our shower we heard a knocking at the door, it was her mom. We had left all of our clothes downstairs. Safe to say I won't be allowed there any more. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I snuck into the bathroom together at his house for a quickie. Just as we unzipped our pants, his step-dad knocked on the door. Panicking, I jumped into the closet to hide. When his step-dad came in, he went to put some towels away. In the closet. FML
Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML
Today, my girlfriend felt me jump out of bed, heard me run to the bathroom and throw up, then looked up five seconds later to see me take a massive dump on her bath mat. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend sneaked into my room, not knowing I wasn't home. It would have been great, except my dad went in my room to put laundry away. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
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Top comments
CrimsonWolf1294 0
There is no possible way that you didn't deserve this...
sweet_candy_ 17
lmao I hope you make it out alive.
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Comments (188)
truehitman2010 0
I hope he beats ur ass and sues you for breaking and entering
lilbigwill99 0
why is everyone wanting for him to get his ass beat? he's just trying to get some lol. FYL
SickAngel 0
Oh, that's so romantic. Break and enter into your girlfriend's house, take a shit, and expect to get laid right after that? Yes. VERY romantic.
fthku 13
I was gonna make a sarcastic comment, but now I just wanna hear what happened next. I'm sure it'll be funny. Though I have to say, taking a dump in a house you sneak in to? Real smart, idiot. Beat him? sue him? This guy is probably a kid. Probably in highschool, but still a kid. The fact he was sneaking doesn't necessarily mean the dad doesn't want him there, he said he snuck in for some romantic time. Though I suppose it's mendatory of ex-marine fathers to hate all boyfriends, seems to be norm at America.
baybiegurl 3
You're an idiot for many things, one for saying "there was there", two for thinking there is such a word as "sneaked" and three for breaking and entering into an ex marines house. obviously you aren't posting from the morgue, but I hope it's not from the hospital in a body cast. Next time, get permission! You fully deserve this jackass.
Biotechie 5
Well considering 'snuck' isn't a word, using 'sneaked' is actually the proper word. Thanks for coming out:)
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Actually sneaked and snuck are both acceptable words, it's just that snuck has only entered into language in the past few decades. It's informal language.
Sirin_fml 47
Sorry, but you people need to flip through a dictionary now and then. "Sneaked" may sound incorrect, but it's the older, standard word. Why insult the OP when you clearly haven't even looked it up?
FUrlife95 0
Not just wannabe grammar Nazi's, grammar Nazi's in general. All of you suck=]
TheNewGuy03 29
i wish i could give mods a thumbs-up. |the kid|
Punkpoptart1119 20
He didn't say 'There was there' one time..lol. I understand why OP snuck into the house..but I really don't understand taking a dump in the bathroom that everyone in the family uses. If you would've just gone straight to your girlfriends room, you probably would've been fine. And maybe try to get closer to her dad so you and her won't have to sneak around anymore...
Jasonperez 9
no such thing as an ex-marine unless they are dead
movielove 2
There's no such thing as an ex-marine dumbass. You deserved it.
semperfi64 0
thank you. you are the first person to realize this
TXjuggalo972 6
not really I read this as it came out :P
Nadinek98 0
YDI for sneaking into gf house
truehitman2010 0
movielove yea there is
Ratdaddy94 0
It's something they say moron.
truehitman2010 0
how is saying that make me retarted he broke in there house
PuppiesFTW 5
Boxers are great dogs. I have one.