Kids: Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator...

By 3722145 - 31/01/2015 00:51 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

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You deserved it 6 887

Kids

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 16:24 - United States - Dallas

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 225

You deserved it 7 758

Boom!

By why do eggs explode - 12/10/2015 21:35 - Canada - Calgary

Today, while I was in the shower, my 4 year-old son wondered what would happen if he put 6 eggs in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 279

You deserved it 3 066

By Anonymous - 12/03/2014 03:34 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my 3-year-old son discovered his testicles. When I asked him what they were, he replied, "They're my balls! They make my winkie happy!" Now he won't quit singing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 886

You deserved it 6 114

By WOCOACH - 09/09/2009 19:33 - United States

Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 882

You deserved it 5 036

By poormom - 27/06/2009 04:05 - United States

Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 073

You deserved it 28 894

By thebeachisthatway - 22/10/2012 18:56 - United States - Worcester

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 230

You deserved it 5 269

Who taught him

By Redbeard - 24/01/2020 05:00

Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 366

Kids talk

By SerenityJ - 27/09/2013 20:00 - United States - Mountain View

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 018

You deserved it 7 145

By Anonymous - 01/05/2015 20:41 - United Kingdom - Oundle

Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 366

You deserved it 3 641

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 18:30 - United States - Smyrna

Today, I took my 4-year-old son to the bank with me. He asked why we were going, and I explained that I had a couple of checks that they would turn into money. When we got in line, he loudly exclaimed that "Mommy has checks for money!" Except "checks" sounded almost exactly like "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 628

You deserved it 4 568

marcmaralou 15

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:13

once you get older, scientific and graphing calculators don't allow you to do this :(

colton_colton 49

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:13

He's the future of this world

Comments

XBurytheCastleX 25

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:10

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marcmaralou 15

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:13

once you get older, scientific and graphing calculators don't allow you to do this :(

marcmaralou 15

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:17

actually, I take that back, you can literally type boobies on a graphing calculator

derp_taco 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:22

Yay

DraconicFeline 31

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:48

Yeah, but where's the fun in that?

lkreykes 14

Sunday 1 February 2015 6:34

yeah upside down boobies are the best

TigranPetrosian 8

Tuesday 3 February 2015 5:43

you can use hexadecimal

AzrielB 8

Thursday 23 February 2017 13:53

Most graphing calculators have a letter mode which allows you to write whatever your heart desires. OP should just get their son a Ti-83

colton_colton 49

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:13

He's the future of this world

HyunnK 18

Sunday 1 February 2015 2:32

Making it possible to spell **** on a calculator upside down.

anonpbc 20

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:15

next generation genius

Driving_Gaming 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:16

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toaster87 19

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:16

Question is how old is he...?

TrustStolen 16

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:19

why would you show him to spell it in the first place

Joestarry 8

Sunday 1 February 2015 16:49

Because he's a good father

tzemmy 25

Sunday 1 February 2015 20:00

#39 what the **** is your profile picture??

tykatdesigns 13

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:24

Well honey you started it

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 0:31

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lolcat97 28

Sunday 1 February 2015 1:24

OP wasn't serious, parents say things like that. Mine said they would sell me online or return me to the hospital, I laughed at that. I didn't find it offensive.

SMHsohard 22

Sunday 1 February 2015 1:46

Hell, I've been telling my daughter for years that the only reason I had her was to fetch and carry for me. Parents say shit like this all the time. I'm kidding, she knows I'm kidding, it's a family joke. Nothing to get butt hurt over.