Sex, Porn and Geek: Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on... - FML

By ohshittttttt - 04/04/2009 16:15 - United States

Spicy

Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 498

You deserved it 158 503

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/04/2009 20:21 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 625

You deserved it 77 863

By cardsftw - 16/08/2012 19:50 - United States - Compton

Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 157

You deserved it 8 397

By MyHeadHurts - 20/01/2012 10:42 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 205

You deserved it 39 597

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 723

You deserved it 6 660

Now casting

By WhyAppleWhy - 01/09/2012 23:14 - United States - Sarasota

Spicy

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 561

You deserved it 52 834

TMI FML

By Addison - 25/06/2012 00:28 - Canada - Kingston

Spicy

Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 962

You deserved it 3 635

By acnecream - 03/05/2013 13:23 - Finland - Kinnulanlahti

Spicy

Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 304

You deserved it 73 808

By Anonymous - 10/07/2015 18:19 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 524

You deserved it 3 416

By sadinthesack - 31/08/2009 18:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 887

You deserved it 10 932

By tbeemcgeebee - 01/08/2010 05:05 - United States

Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 924

You deserved it 33 653

Next

Top comments

alicemassie 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:38

gee, i think thats number one on itunes!

Shigogaboo 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 23:37

Wow...wow

Comments

mksgal89 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 7:12

Awesome.

lems18902 1

Sunday 5 April 2009 7:42

You can't download **** on iTunes - so this is not a true FML!

wickedsick 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 8:41

Uhhhh.. #82 - you can import songs&videos that you have on your computer to your iTunes. Btw, classic. ******* classic. You deserved it though.

Tennz 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 9:50

Why would you actually confess to that?

namhar 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 10:22

Yeah, why WOULD you confess to that?

Leoplum 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 13:53

YDI. L2knowwhatmessagespopuponyouraimstatus.

WeStayCrunk24x7 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 14:09

I better go check my status now

AntiChrist7 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 14:23

why would you pot **** on your Ipod? to jack off on the train?

J0HNYR0773N 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 15:59

thats actually a pretty good movie lol

stonemask 0

Sunday 5 April 2009 16:37

Lol, funny! :P

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Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Pregnancy Relationship advice Cheating Teenagers Friends Sex Intimacy Embarrassing Revenge Food Boredom

The Top

Today, after getting ghosted by a company for a job I really wanted, I posted on LinkedIn, venting my frustration with companies not having the decency to send rejection letters. My current boss, who didn't know I was job hunting, saw it, and let me know I'm now on the shit list. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104

You deserved it 908

Today, I realized that whenever I use emoticons, I tend to make the same face in real life. My coworkers gleefully showed me various pictures with my tongue out, face scrunched up, and so on, while staring at my phone. They've already made their way around the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 005

You deserved it 21 832

The Top

Today, I was forced to come in to work early in the morning. For me, that means I will have a pounding migraine, vomiting, and diarrhea for at least the next two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 244

Today, my students turned in their male figure artwork. One absolute idiot had the smart idea of drawing me and the TA as some kind of gay lovers. I was torn between disgust at the explicitness, anger at the disrespect, and yet awe at how well-drawn it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 099

You deserved it 6 860

Today, my mother-in-law asked me when my fiancé and I were going to start having children. When I told her we weren't planning on having any, she went on a tirade about how selfish and cold I am for denying her precious grandchildren. Now she hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 881

You deserved it 4 602

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 149

You deserved it 3 778

Today, after two years, my girlfriend finally got over her intimacy and commitment problems, with a guy she met over the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 211

You deserved it 3 289

Today, I'm so lazy, I dread getting up early on days that haven't arrived yet. For stuff I actually like doing, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 264

You deserved it 5 200