Today, I set my AIM status to be the currently-playing file on my iTunes. I've downloaded a lot of porn to my iTunes, and I wanted to watch some. My status changed to "Girl in Latex gets fucked in the ass." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was getting ready for bed, when I decided to watch some porno on the computer. Suddenly someone from my messenger list says, "You might want to turn off the 'What You're Listening To' option if you're watching porn." I snapped and exited the porn. 63 people saw. FML
Today, I was so bored that I actually read the iTunes store's terms and conditions. FML
Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
Today, my sister was "sexting" her boyfriend over Apple messages. Since we share an iTunes account the messages appeared on my iPod. Apparently, he shouldn't be silly, and should wrap his willy. FML
Today, I was hitting on a cute girl on the bus. It was going well, and she gave me her name to add on Facebook. Since I didn't have the app, I opened Safari on my phone. It opened to my video from Pornhub I watched yesterday and started playing, on full volume, through the entire bus. FML
Today, I was having computer problems, so I let my friend have remote access to fix them. We were video-chatting on Skype at the time, and so he thought it'd be hilarious to load hardcore porn in my browser the moment he saw my mom enter the room from behind me. I'm now grounded. FML
Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML
Today, at 2 am on a Saturday, I purposely updated my Facebook status from my iPod so people will see that I posted from a 'mobile device' and think I'm out at a bar having a life, instead of sitting at home on my bed watching movies on my Netflix. FML
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Top comments
alicemassie 0
gee, i think thats number one on itunes!
Shigogaboo 0
Wow...wow
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Comments (192)
NorfolkDude 2
I believe the reason to keep it on iTunes is so that it can convert into your iPod/iPhone so you can watch it. Either way, that's funny as crap. There's an old saying, "If you don't want someone to know, don't do it."
bosox284 0
Absolutely hilarious, but YDI either way.
arienh4 0
Do you have your parents on AIM?
alex_smokin_okin 0
wtf, iTunes doesn't have **** easily available moron, if it did, I would be on itunes instead of this site, great lie
wallythedolly 0
#24 you can download stuff from sources other than itunes and put it on your ipod...I have 10 gbs of music and videos on my ipod and only one song was actually bought from the itunes store.
SpunkT 0
#15, if you're happy that you moderated this one and you wanted it on here, you suck. I really don't get how all these poorly written ones keep getting through. I really don't care how embarrassing your story is if you don't know how to tell it. I mean honestly, is that how you TALK?
amazinggbaby 2
The point is to get a story out there, not to prove to the world that your an amazing writer, this is the Internet and that's how people talk. Nobody needs to put as much effort into submitting fmls like they were submitting a college paper.
SmileEveryone 12
plus, not everyone on this site is English and might struggle with typing...
TerAki 0
Wouldn't the latex be covering her ass?
chickenzipper 2
You haven't watched much freaky **** then.
alex_vik 1
#24 - You can put non-iTunes stuff on iTunes moron. Don't call someone a moron when you don't know your own shit. #27 - Hole in the ass/crotch.
derpdederp101 1
yea the same thing has happened to me its very embarrasing
effthis 0
hahahahahahahahhahah wow..