By Anonymous - 05/10/2012 02:45 - United States - Miami

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML
I agree, your life sucks 34 997
You deserved it 4 233

Same thing different taste

Top comments

At least it's on her "To Do" list and not her "Already Completed" list...


Better at least try before Darwinism inevitably takes effect.

I'm ashamed to be a part of this generation.

Still a better love story than Tw... oh wait... Well, if she can make more than one facial expresion, there's no way Edward is saving her ass.

Inheritance 10

.......and the world is at a end. Oh tell her Edward is married and has kid now so there's no chance of that happening. It'll break her lil heart but oh well.

chell1894 13

There comes a time and a place when you just don't stop someone from achieving their "dreams". No matter how much you love them.

Good thing it's number 1 on her list. We need more teens to jump out in traffic. I think we should be able to abort kids up to the age of 18. Lol

tcook912 9

112- You've read the book "Unwind", haven't you ?

I think it's just a phase... but for now... no.

112 - What the hell is wrong with you?

ee13lbp 4

Relax, it was just a joke.

You can never be too sure, you'd have to see the rest of the list.

ee13lbp 4

If that wasn't a joke I'd send her to a mental institute. Firstly for her crazy fantasies, and secondly for watching twilight...

Well you have two options: 1: Be supportive of her imagination and creativity and let her get nailed by a bus -or- 2: Be a bad parent and criticize her beliefs and goals in life. :)

39 - Exactly! It's a win-win situation

#2 is when you go to the toilet to do a poo. Oh, you mean on the list? Then it's "get a large dog and call it Jacob"

Twilight is not a joke, it is an abomination

I hope this FML was made up... Because I hope no one in this world is that dumb... If it isn't... I've lost all faith for the future of mankind.

Chris_trolololol 2

#2 - Get my mom to stay out of my room #3 - Seriously, mom, get out of my room!

At least it's on her "To Do" list and not her "Already Completed" list...

agonydrum 7

How would she write the list if she was already dead?

It would mean she tried that and got injured badly and marked it as completed.

BunchieRules 31

142 - Or checked it off before she jumped in front of the car.

KayS2 0

Unless Edward actually came and saved her...

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Isn't she a little behind on the whole Twilight craze? *cringes* Not that it ever should've been a craze anyway...

OhDearBetrayal 25

Twilight is a work of true literal genius that will last throughout the ages of mainstream culture.

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
OhDearBetrayal 25

23- Take a step back and think about what "mainstream culture" means to today's society.

OhDearBetrayal 25

23- If you came up with mainstream culture=shit, you should be able to tell whether I was being serious or not.

I like Twilight because I like the author. The Host is way better though, and that's what started me on Stephanie Meyer. But THIS is pure stupidity.

I can't stand the author. Personally, I think she knows shit about actual writing. But that's just me...and a bunch other people...

outstandtacular 11

67 - I'm pretty sure The Host was worse than the Twilight books.

Yea..... The author if those books is a TERRIBLE writer...... She needs to go back to school and PAY ATTENTION in English class.

74-Riiight, the twilight series sucked and that's why stephanie meyer made millions off of those books and inspired millions of teenage girls to read. Oh wait...

Says the guy with an apple as his picture.

She should put "Learning to organize a List" as #1

I think you meant 'learning to socialize with real people'

I think he meant to point out the insanity behind that being "number 1" on her to-do list. Because unless she can do everything else from a hospital bed or coffin, that's not a very good thing to start with.

daringtoride 27

God help us, this girl needs help. How can people even begin to think Twilight is a romantic story? Controlling boyfriend, emotionally unstable girl willing to do anything for him...

Sums up almost every teenage girls relationship nowadays... I guess that's why a lot of these little kids "relate" to that "love story."

Pretty much the same deal with 50 shades of grey. What happened to true romance?

I'm not one of these Twilight fanatics, but really? "Controlling boyfriend?" You've clearly never read the books. Edward is a completely pussy-whipped invertebrate when it comes to Bella.

He also prevents her from visiting her friend, going as far as to ruin her car and the only way he'll turn her into a vampire is if she marries him whchbis is blackma il. He sneaks into her bedroom to watch her sleep and it's "romatic". Twilight has about twenty screws loose, controlling boyfrien.

I think you need to re-read the books. He doesn't ruin her car. And nowhere does he prevent her from seeing her friend. He even lets her kiss jacob. If you meant Jessica, they went out the entire day shopping before he showed up and saved her life.

I'm ashamed to admit this but I read twilight mainly because a friend told me it was really good. Now I realize they were messing with me. But Edward does mess with her car, he disconnects some things to prevent her from seeing Jacob, this is in the third book. Edward didn't let Bella kiss Jacob she chose to so that Jacob wouldn't go fight the newborn vampires, also in the third book. And Edward had no control over Bella shopping with Jessica they weren't dating at the time.

He discourages her from seeing Jacob because at any moment he could transform into a massive, angry, violent, uncontrollable beast. Also, I don't think asking her to marry him before he permanently changes her into an immortal, undead, blood thirsty monster is unreasonable. Oh God. I can't believe I'm even arguing about this. This is so ******* stupid. I mean, really? How would anything even remotely similar to those two scenarios I just described ever happen in real life? Sheesh. You people are like those religious zealots who claim that Harry Potter is the spawn of Satan. You're taking something that is pure fantasy WAAAAAAY too seriously.

He didn't want her to see her friend because the shape shifters were known to have bad tempers and hurt people.

raraisbang 12

85, that's because 50 Shades of Grey started as a fanfic of twilight. Hence the blatant similarities between the two.

Yea. I know. I just think its funny that Twilight got all the teenagers thinking this is "romantic" and 50 Shades got all the house moms and college ladies looking for an office to fall into because the way Christian acts I "romantic"

perdix 29

How can he oppose the tremendous momentum of a fast-moving vehicle when he can't even prevent his girlfriend from ******* some old dude?

I'm not familiar with the story, did this really happen?

Never mind, I figured this was a reference to the affair with the director. Thumbs up to you perdix.

krirn: kudos to you for not knowing the twilight story

morganpaige1994 2

Edward was the old dude and that's was onea the terms she used when she agreed to marry him. She didn't want to lose the human experience of losing her virginity

jellycorn 13

Voldie shouldn't have killed him.

So we can safely blame voldermort for twilight?

jellycorn 13

Well if he didn't kill Cedric, we wouldn't have ended up with this sparkly twat.

HappyBlackGuy 1

Damn shes 17 and doing shit like this? Seek her some help

Just let her do it the world doesn't need more twilight idiots