xxBitchxPleaSe

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30 years-old
Thursday 10 August 1995
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A propos de Xxbitchxplease

Hello creepers :D. How you doing?

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Xxbitchxplease's favorite FMLs

By spitballer1 - 06/07/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I made a bowl of spaghetti for my girlfriend and me. I tried the move from Lady and the Tramp where the boy and girl both slurp the same piece of spagetti and end up kissing. When I tried it, the spagetti went too down far my throat, and I ended up throwing it up on her. FML

agreeclassic 408

vote type 1 156

By Anonymous - 30/03/2013 05:23 - United States

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

agreeclassic 39 839

vote type 1 3 450

By kaikaicaligirl - 21/03/2013 23:55 - United States - Escondido

Today, I saw some pictures of my boyfriend drunkenly kissing his ex on Facebook. I asked him about it, and he reassured me the pictures were from months ago. Unfortunately for him, I happened to notice a small tattoo on his neck. The same tattoo I went with him just last week to get. FML

agreeclassic 45 764

vote type 1 3 634

kaikaicaligirl app_comment_confession_title

kaikaicaligirl 7

Saturday 23 March 2013 3:02

We've been together seven months and this is the first time anything like this has happened.

By innocentbarista - 17/03/2013 19:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, while serving two middle-aged women at the coffee shop, I was screamed at and accused of being a "sexist and chauvinistic bastard." This was prompted by me charging one of them 40 cents for the addition of steamed milk, which is clearly stated on the price sheet. FML

agreeclassic 34 584

vote type 1 2 587

FML: Uncensored

By Cliché... or Touché? - 03/08/2017 02:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head during the horror flick we were watching. Little did I know, my girlfriend isn't a big fan of horror films. It was during a sex scene that intensified the moment. The same sex scene from which emerged a sudden jump-scare. I now have bite marks on my penis. FML

agreeclassic 36 890

vote type 1 62 160