Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I was at a party and saw this girl who used to be overweight. She'd lost a significant amount of weight and looked so good, I went to chat her up. She immediately told me to get lost. According to her, if I "didn’t appreciate her at her worst, I don’t deserve her at her best." FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
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Top comments
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Now she's definitely not going to eat your meat!
IceyJustin 1
Yeah real smooth.
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Comments (140)
VianaJ_Garcia 14
People always have to believe their own assumptions, don't they?
QBren 0
so you tap that?
mintcar 10
Clearly not.
therealdavid 0
HE blew YOU? shouldnt it be the other way around?
bfad2010 0
yea harsh females! lol
Tanya33 1
its not OP's fault she's a vegetarian. She didnt have to get mad at him because she's mad at the world.
mellomaniac 0
I don't see how that's ur fault I mean u complimented her! she's probably got a stock shoved up her ass or she hungry cause just eating veggies has got to be like starving ur self
swampstomper 0
then you should've told her to more protein & carbs. somebody started a stupid girls have to be skinny thing at our children's school so now my daughter wanted to diet, she is going to turn 7 & 5t pants fall of her skinny butt
IHeartJimi02 0
That's horrible. A lot of media today makes people believe that being super skinny is beautiful. It's sad that children believe that too.
dudehaha 4
at what point was that smooth? ahaha
KasCiaYr 0
YDI for being a judgemental prick.
Acousticpixie14 6
How the Hell was he being judgmental?
i_am_evil 7
in short, by saying "thin women don't need to diet; fat women do."
Acousticpixie14 6
He never said that! All he said was that SHE did not need to. Get over yourselves, jeez...
purple_sarah88 0
Talking about food as a chat up line is kind of a turn off. She probably doesn't want some stranger telling her what to eat and eyeing her up like she's a piece of meat. As others here have said, stay away from the sensitive subject of diet and weight, that's a great way to shut down not start a conversation.