Today, I saw an attractive, thin woman eating a salad. Trying to be smooth, I approached her and told her that she didn't need to eat so scarcely, because she was beautiful. She promptly gave me a dirty look and informed me that she was a vegetarian. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was taking a customer's order when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted, "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML
Today, I was eating dinner with a friend when a really hot guy came up and introduced himself. He told us he was vegetarian, and I wanted to impress him so I told him I was too. I was eating a steak. FML
Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML
Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML
Today, I was at a party and saw this girl who used to be overweight. She'd lost a significant amount of weight and looked so good, I went to chat her up. She immediately told me to get lost. According to her, if I "didn’t appreciate her at her worst, I don’t deserve her at her best." FML
Today, I asked a girl at the restaurant I work at if she'd had enough to eat. When she said yes, I said, "Are you sure?" I didn't realize how insulting it sounded until her equally overweight mom was up in my face, demanding to see my manager. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML
Today, my morbidly obese mother gave me an angry lecture at dinner, saying without any trace of irony that my vegetarian diet is "unhealthy and utterly unacceptable". FML
Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML
Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML
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Top comments
DoubleEdgedBlade 4
Now she's definitely not going to eat your meat!
IceyJustin 1
Yeah real smooth.
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Comments (140)
lonely_heart_89 6
I don't think there was anything wrong with what you said. when you're a vegetarian, there are so many more things you can eat, other than salad. She's just stuck-up.
J0gby 0
i get these types of compliments every time I go to Souplantation.
MissPo3s 0
This has 'YDI' written all over it.
looneyben5432 0
wow this is the biggest example of how women and men see things differently, he wasn't being a dick he was complementing a women and telling her that she cold feel comfortable eating a big meal in public because there are people who think she's beautiful even if she's eating a big ol' plate, not a dick, it was a complement
Sheepiebeepie 26
It’s not a woman’s job to be beautiful. It’s not the most important thing for a woman to be, nor is it the largest aspiration for s woman.
emoooze 0
TodayI got my period, Mum reckons I'm faking it! I can't go to the shops by myself! FML
i_am_evil 7
It's not an insult to vegetarians. First, this is an awkward way to compliment someone. But more importantly, by saying she does not need to eat scarcely *because* she is beautiful (i.e. "thin"), he implies that if she were fat, she would need to eat scarcely, which is just insensitive. Furthermore, he chooses to hit on her by criticizing her meal choice! He clearly isn't a dick, and probably not even insensitive. He was just trying to deliver a clever compliment and didn't realize his lack of wit would cause him to fall flat on his face.
fayola 2
I clicked YDI at the words "trying to be smooth."
xgetxbentx 13
it's just generally a bad idea to comment on a girls dietary habits unless you know them really well.
lordcaliburx 0
its so sad when people would go out of their way just to try to show every one on this tread or any FML just how smart they are by correcting some one on grammar. holy **** balls you people a douches. plain and simple. oh look. I showed you up by telling every one you put a comma in the wrong spot. I'm so cool. I am glad people like me because I know proper English or my computer does and I'm just a Dick. now I don't know what to do with all my free time. oh wait. I know. ill become a super hero and show off when people are wrong and how right I am. you are the nerds that snort and say something gay like well you really meant the weight of my atomic balls is roughly the same size of my black hole of worthlessness. i would hit you in the neck if you did this in real life. you are a douch and NO ONE CARES WHEN YOU CORRECT SOME ONE. IT DOES NOT CHANGE ANY THING. my taking a dump is over and so is this post. shit bag.
allmidnighteyes 11
u mad brah?
lordcaliburx 0
no. just needed to vent. these people do it all the time like people care. half if not 75% of the comments that are left are people correcting other people.
laurbear12 3
calm it down a bit
allmidnighteyes 11
And it obviously hurts you in some way if you're making this big of a deal out of it. Oh, by the way, you left out a considerable amount of punctuation and misspelt a few words in your tirade there, buddy.
laurbear12 3
way to suck at life