Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML
Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML
Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML
Today, while at McDonald's, I saw an 8 year-old girl licking a life-size Ronald McDonald sitting on a bench. Being concerned, I told her mother, who then yelled at me for 10 minutes for being a "paedophile" and "being turned on by an 8 year-old girl." FML
Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML
Today, I had a double cheeseburger with a side of onion rings for lunch. Thirty minutes later my body reacted by giving me a bellyache and a HUGE need to shit. The good news, it was a normal pooh; it's just when I eat big, I go big. Bad. I was in his car with my guy when I "let go". He definitely noticed & smelled it. FML
Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML
Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DynamicDave 11
Lmao WTF is an "extremely forceful erection"? Did you **** IN YOUR PANTS? lol
couny343 1
Turned on by a burger?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
JassyJas 2
did you imagine a girl eating the burger?
Bloodknight 22
OMG, no lie, I just saw the same story on the news no less than a minute ago, lol. The fact that you not only got an erection, but a " forceful" one just shows how disturbed you really are!
Superawesomestev 0
windows 7 is gay. that's really why you firmed right up. this is just your way of coming out.
rooboy 16
WTF is your problem dude?
itsAleki 0
WTF? lol azz bahaha
brianjman14 23
yo nikka that's some fuked up shit there and don't copy my name :P
drmike_fml 0
hahahahahahahhahhahahahahaha
AKBIGCAL 0
so are one of those guys in dat "jizzed in my pants" video?
XRiseToFallAgain 0
What the ****?
sillyteengirl 0
OH YES WHOPPER WHOPPER!!!!!!!!
epicwinmaster 0
Lucky for you I have invented a brand new diet plan. It's called: STOP EATING YOU FAT BASTARD. These are some of the signs that you need my diet plan: 1) If you have to move your chin to go to the bathroom. 2) If you **** in your pants at the sight of a burger with seven patties. 3) If you weigh over 400 pounds.
zombiebombatron 6
Oh okay. I'm 300 pounds. But according to you that's fine :) thanks for uplifting my self esteem! (I'm really not that big haha)