Intimacy: Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper...

By Brian - 26/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 839

You deserved it 10 506

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 415

You deserved it 5 006

By Anonymous - 01/09/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, Burger King gave me a moldy bun. I noticed 1/5 of the way through the sandwich. My compensation for ingesting mold? A coupon for half-off a Whopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 830

You deserved it 4 935

Mind your own business

By janie - 10/01/2021 17:01

Today, I'm so skinny that I was told to, “Eat a burger.” While I was eating a burger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 893

You deserved it 166

By FYLyfer - 26/10/2009 21:34 - United States

Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 051

You deserved it 5 618

By lyfisdyno - 12/09/2013 00:16 - United Kingdom - Malvern

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 812

You deserved it 74 106

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 882

You deserved it 9 653

Happy International Workers' Day!

By engineerdude91 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized the benefits at Burger King are better than at my company. I'm an engineer, have three degrees, speak three languages fluently, and work at a multi-billion dollar company. The guy flipping burgers has better health care and more corporate 401k contributions than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 786

You deserved it 4 365

McGastric

By Mc'xplosive - 09/10/2019 04:00

Today, after months of avoiding fast food, I decided to eat some McDonald's french fries. Though the fries were delicious, they were not worth the agonizing 15 minutes I spent on the toilet afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 477

By elisimo - 24/01/2012 08:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said, "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 644

You deserved it 35 949

By fmlguy382 - 22/06/2011 08:13 - United States

Today, I was complimented on how big my penis was. I was complimented by the guy peeing next to me in the men's restroom at McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 325

You deserved it 7 880

DynamicDave 11

Monday 26 October 2009 12:33

Lmao WTF is an "extremely forceful erection"? Did you **** IN YOUR PANTS? lol

couny343 1

Monday 26 October 2009 12:13

Turned on by a burger?

Comments

JassyJas 2

Monday 26 October 2009 14:40

did you imagine a girl eating the burger?

Bloodknight 22

Monday 26 October 2009 14:56

OMG, no lie, I just saw the same story on the news no less than a minute ago, lol. The fact that you not only got an erection, but a " forceful" one just shows how disturbed you really are!

Superawesomestev 0

Monday 26 October 2009 15:46

windows 7 is gay. that's really why you firmed right up. this is just your way of coming out.

rooboy 16

Wednesday 28 September 2011 19:03

WTF is your problem dude?

itsAleki 0

Monday 26 October 2009 16:24

WTF? lol azz bahaha

brianjman14 22

Monday 26 October 2009 21:30

yo nikka that's some fuked up shit there and don't copy my name :P

drmike_fml 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 0:13

hahahahahahahhahhahahahahaha

AKBIGCAL 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 0:22

so are one of those guys in dat "jizzed in my pants" video?

XRiseToFallAgain 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 0:31

What the ****?

sillyteengirl 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:03

OH YES WHOPPER WHOPPER!!!!!!!!

epicwinmaster 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 3:07

Lucky for you I have invented a brand new diet plan. It's called: STOP EATING YOU FAT BASTARD. These are some of the signs that you need my diet plan: 1) If you have to move your chin to go to the bathroom. 2) If you **** in your pants at the sight of a burger with seven patties. 3) If you weigh over 400 pounds.