Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
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Top comments
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
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Comments (273)
darryljustinhell 0
you should screeech back "AND WITH A TUMMY LIKE THAT, YOU NEVER WILL BE, YOU HIPPO ! LOSE SOME WEIGHT"
captainmaharet 1
Rude-ass mfer. YDI
nigahigafan 0
Today, i never thought i was fat until one day i was riding my moped and i fell off. this man came over and helped me up, he then said is my baby alright. Im not pregnant
at1325 0
regardless of if she was offended our not she shouldn't have hit you. You were trying to help, and while it may have been awkward for both of she all she had to do was politely say "I'm not pregnant but thank you for helping me anyway."
MasterOfTheXP 2
lol0wned
Kyousho 0
1.that's why im rarely kind to people 2.if she's so fat she gets mistaken for someone pregnant, then she should smack less and run more FYL OP
johnk662561 0
Use the logic put forth by commenter number 2...assume every pregnant woman is "just fat" and see how well THAT bit of stupidity works ya! lol
LifeKills 0
"Today, i was riding my moped when i fell and landed head first on the concrete floor. As everyone stared and i laid in humility a man helps me up to my feet and asks if my unborn baby is okay. I'm not pregnant. FML" Now thats a fml. fhl and fyl :/
KBruce317 0
No, I had NO CLUE that crack was worse. When did this happen? *sarcasm in case you didn't know*
lildrummerboy47 0
why would she have her purse out if she was riding a moped? saddlebags? this fml sounds a little flawed to me...
justanotherbird 19
Nah, when I ride a motorcycle I use a small purse that fits snugly on my shoulder since there are no saddlebags. No biggie.