Today, I saw a pregnant woman fall off her moped. As I helped her back up, I asked if her baby was okay. I was then blindsided by her brick of a purse while she screeched, "I'm not pregnant!" FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML
Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML
Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
Today, I was carrying some bags out of a store, and my shirt had scooted up a little. I had no free hands, so I ignored it. A woman stopped me to tell me that bare midriffs are only attractive on skinny girls, "not fat ones." I'm 6 months pregnant. FML
Today, a pregnant woman asked me to give her a demonstration on how to push when having a baby. I agreed and pushed, but I may have pushed a little too hard because I shat myself. The pregnant woman laughed and said she was hoping that would happen. FML
Today, I told my husband I was pregnant, then he fainted. FML
Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
sammiller4 3
never assume a woman is pregnant unless its extremely obvious
perdix 31
If you were a plumpa humpa, you could have said, "I'd be happy to get you there, ma'am."
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (273)
maskedman 9
I think this FML is funny because it has both fat women and mopeds. They are both a lot of fun until your friends catch you riding one.
lostinmymind121 0
yea.. not the safest thing to do! lol
JokeMeister 0
You must have made a big deal about it, becaus one wrong statement can be overlooked but when you go ooon and ion about it, it becomes insulting. That is why you should NEVER assume.
bigredmonkeybutt 30
Man what a dope. Always assume they're just fat & treat them accordingly. It's safer that way because worst case they're fat.
mz_s15 0
Lol... how embarassing..
KEV10293847 0
what's a moped?
bigredmonkeybutt 30
google?
mz_s15 0
Isn't it like a scooter?
MrFerret 0
It was meant in a sarcastic way but yea point is women do worse, so why wouldn't they be on a moped? Oh and @KBruce cigarettes are fine it is just implied that what is bad for you is bad for the baby but yea crack is worse in case you didn't kno.
imright24 0
This kind of post pops up all the time. When will people realize that our society is fat - fat, fat, fat? It's not worth the risk commenting on the pregancy of someone you don't know. YDI.
Compass 0
So it wasn't a moped, it was a fat-mobile!
nickwest 0
man if it was me that tried to help the bitch and she hit me I would have put her fat ass back on the damn ground. ungrateful bitch. What's wrong with Americans today we got no ******* manners. The fat ass should have said thank you for your help oh I'm really ******* fat not prego fhl not yours.