Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and...

By letmediealready - 22/12/2017 19:00

Today I saved my wife's puppy from drowning in an icy pond and I ended up in the ER struggling to breath from the water in my lungs. When my wife showed up to see me, I caught her flirting with my doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 771

You deserved it 346

Summer: Sun, Sea and Blunders
Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By good husband - 30/04/2013 16:03 - Canada

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 866

You deserved it 4 633

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 941

You deserved it 44 878

Help!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 985

You deserved it 6 444

By Anonymous - 30/06/2009 02:23 - United States

Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 064

You deserved it 13 983

By mytoehurts - 26/06/2015 13:09 - Canada - Ayr

Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 431

You deserved it 2 883

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 432

By johnny121 - 01/01/2010 19:14 - France

Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 064

You deserved it 2 668

By EpicFailAtItsFinest - 13/04/2009 02:49 - United States

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 521

You deserved it 19 530

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 245

You deserved it 4 780

By Jeri - 26/02/2010 12:55 - United States

Today, I begged my husband to take me to the ER cause my stomach hurt so bad I thought I was gonna die. He told me to go sit on the toilet and stop being a drama queen. I drove myself to the hospital just in time for my appendix to burst. I almost died because my husband was busy playing Xbox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 153

You deserved it 4 345

Bloo2555 22

Wednesday 20 December 2017 4:29

Dump the wife, keep the dog.

interesting33 36

Wednesday 20 December 2017 3:30

that was kind of you OP. if it is dangerous like the water is cold and could therefore cause you to go into shock, then I believe the recommendation is not to risk your life, even if it is a human because you could then be in danger yourself and someone would have to save you. your wife may have been flirting or it could have been misinterpreted, she could have just been being nice or friendly. If she was flirting then it quite possibly doesn't mean anything. sometimes I think it is natural reaction and hard to help. but it really sucks. OP, thank you for helping that dog, please be careful though and I hope your wife gave you loads of attention and love and appreciation!

Comments

interesting33 36

Wednesday 20 December 2017 3:30

Bloo2555 22

Wednesday 20 December 2017 4:29

Dump the wife, keep the dog.

lexos 16

Friday 22 December 2017 19:36

Take the puppy and leave the 2 of you deserve better

articwolf2 17

Friday 22 December 2017 19:54

What an ice queen! Wonder where she gets off acting so cold!

mattyiscool123 26

Friday 22 December 2017 20:06

Too soon

Lobby_Bee 17

Saturday 23 December 2017 1:59

A bit of flirting never harmed anyone, some people do it every so often to boost their ego and self esteem. Doesn't mean they want to run away with them.

Mathalamus 24

Saturday 23 December 2017 3:50

There’s harmless flirting and there is flirting at the worst time ever.

boopingsnoot 24

Saturday 23 December 2017 2:46

I know from experience that being sick or injured makes it easier to negatively misinterpret others' actions. And, nobody is perfect. Once you're better, ask your wife - nicely - about it.