Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
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Top comments
Shayton 12
Bacon=sex in your mouth
tony1891 22
gotta love Bacon.
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Comments (174)
Skittles_Rawr 8
Bacon can be sexy sometimes....
perdix 31
I hope he means the food and not Kevin.
biebslove 2
O my god your amazing!!
KiddNYC1O 22
Kiss-ass.
perdix 31
Please don't hassle my fans. I'm not immune to a little flattery ;)
Mekeritrig 15
It means that you satisfy him at the same level that eating bacon does. It's a compliment cause bacon is awesome.
Deathonabun 1
I'd just giggle like a retard if my boyo did that to me. I'd say you've got two options. (A)Lighten up and don't take sex so seriously, or (B) tell him that it really bugs you and you want him to stop. Your choice.
chick92282 15
Thank you! That's exactly what I was going to say!
BaconBoy75 2
A man after my very own heart. Bless him. :-)
perdix 31
I did a little research. Go get a perfume called Bacōn by Fargginay. You will totally own this guy -- you'll never have to work a day in your life, just always smell bacony.
ICastillo 25
Op you need to put Bacon strips on your body when you guys have sex. I guarantee the greatest sex for you. ( Or an awesome ass fantasy for most men)
perdix 31
You should be happy he's so into porking you.
sarahrocrocrocks 5
LMMAAAOOO
reddudeover 2
I have a bandolier of bacon. Shit's serious!