Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I went on a 50 km bike ride with a friend. We stopped for a break halfway through, and locked our bikes up. When we returned, some guy had locked his bike to mine. We had to wait an hour for him to return. FML
Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I rode my newly-purchased bicycle to Lowe's to look at flooring and back splashes for our upcoming remodel. Upon leaving the store, I found out that my bicycle had been stolen by someone who had bought a hacksaw from that store while I was shopping. They left the receipt to mock me. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
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Top comments
HeyThereGorgeous 0
German Shepherds are beautiful and sweet if trained correctly. Clearly this one wasn't
Tehalon 0
You gotta admit that it's funny :P
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Comments (154)
BaldOuting 0
I just saw cujo last night so I don't blame you for not going near the dog.
Shirou 0
Not really an FML.
Guairdean 0
Half a dozen Benadryl and some ground beef make a decent tranquilliser for a dog that size. The fun part is when the owner posts an FML about having to carry his mutt home over his shoulder.
jogabonito17 0
Idk how this is an FML. This one should go under the category of suck. Btw, it's a dog! If it bites you, you get rich... Easy as that.
wiltstay000 0
I don't see how this is an FML it sucks but it depends, did the other guy spend like 2 hours in the store then it would be an FML
MadeInCanada 0
Aww, I'm so sorry.. I guess this only applies to people who have cynophobia.. :3
davidtheday 0
I currently have four German Shepherds, and I've owned them all my life. I've never had a problem with them; they aren't usually an aggressive breed, unless someone mistreats them.
Xero3g 5
Don't be a pussy. I've fought large dogs before. A couple bites aren't all that bad.
Egorf 8
its not much of an FML, still funnny. are your sure you didn't get that from Reno 911
FreedomFirst 0
It's a German ShepHErd. Not an astronaut. Learn to spell. The owner was a jerk, though. Lots of people are afraid of dogs and shepherds are pretty territorial.