Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I went on a 50 km bike ride with a friend. We stopped for a break halfway through, and locked our bikes up. When we returned, some guy had locked his bike to mine. We had to wait an hour for him to return. FML
Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I rode my newly-purchased bicycle to Lowe's to look at flooring and back splashes for our upcoming remodel. Upon leaving the store, I found out that my bicycle had been stolen by someone who had bought a hacksaw from that store while I was shopping. They left the receipt to mock me. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
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Top comments
HeyThereGorgeous 0
German Shepherds are beautiful and sweet if trained correctly. Clearly this one wasn't
Tehalon 0
You gotta admit that it's funny :P
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Comments (154)
clockworkrainbow 3
Im actually more afraid of small dogs, they're the worst. A ball of fuzz that only likes to sit in one persons lap? They're bound to be the most agressive towards strangers. Big dogs usually arent so mean unless they've been abused but, its good that you waited for the owner before nearing that Shepherd.
geetface 0
You should have tried to get your bike but if the dog made an aggressive move towards you, you should have ******* killed it. You should never have to put up with lesser creatures who use no logic hassling you. ****** murder
Azaan_fml 0
This is an fml because A.your impatient B.your too lazy to go inside and page the owner C.you want to waste our time
Komatose 0
You guys are idiots. My friend was randomly mauled by a dog while jogging. She was a doctor but is now trying to find a new job because the dog practially ripped off her right hand. She's on disability now. So STFU all the idiots whole think that all dogs are like Scooby-*******-Doo. And good for you for waiting. I would've gone for the bike and just hit the dog in the face is it tryed something.
SiLveRStaRLIGHT 0
This isn't technically an FML. I'm a bit intimidated by large dogs too. It's normal for some people. Although I guess it is kind of embarrassing to have the owner [rudely] laugh at you...
xd0rkiee 0
Lol, I would have done the same thing.
Shadaez 0
Get the bike, if it bites sue the guy. imo.
Gino14 0
Pussy lol
ilikeu12 0
You should of punched him in the face and kick his dog away
love_jd13 0
Aww that sucks. :( That guy was a dick for laughing at you and for even leaving his dog there in the first place. His fault. Don't mind him, though. You'll never see him again. :)