Health, Sleep and Injury: We hear ya

We hear ya

By Diana - 25/10/2019 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that falling asleep with a bobby pin in your hair means waking up with one jammed in your ear drum. FML

agreeclassic 1 596

vote type 1 404

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Creepy crawlies

By John - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Saint Lucia

Today, I discovered that it is possible for bugs to lay eggs in your ears. FML

agreeclassic 32 025

vote type 1 3 083

By norpedo - 17/05/2015 19:32 - United States - Cleveland

Today, in bare consciousness, I found out what it feels like to be stabbed in the hand with an earring. How? By slamming my hand on the snooze button of my alarm and missing horribly. FML

agreeclassic 27 039

vote type 1 6 557

By caempa - 29/12/2010 18:13 - Australia

Today, I was taking my earrings out and thought I had lost the back of one. Turns out my ear infection has caused the flesh of my ear to grow around and engulf the back of my earring and it is still stuck in there. FML

agreeclassic 32 867

vote type 1 13 656

By Noname - 09/11/2008 09:18 - France

Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML

agreeclassic 27 702

vote type 1 13 859

By CA19oo - 20/03/2012 01:03 - United States - Buford

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

agreeclassic 28 760

vote type 1 2 079

Glue ear

By I can't hear you! - 14/12/2022 09:00

Today, I found out that my waking up every morning with my ear being ridiculously plugged is actually an ear infection. How did I not know? It's simple: my ears generate enough wax to make an entire fucking candle, so I assumed they were just building up again. FML

agreeclassic 848

vote type 1 145

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

agreeclassic 14 041

vote type 1 2 647

Coming through

By Anonymous - 09/08/2023 18:00

Today, I was cleaning wax out my ears when my wife came barrelling into the bathroom, desperate to pee. The door slammed right into the side of my head and the cotton swab I was using was pushed all the way in and ruptured my eardrum. FML

agreeclassic 1 078

vote type 1 190

Top o' the mornin' to ya

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 16:00 - United States - Littleton

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

agreeclassic 827

vote type 1 81

By Ciara - 11/06/2012 20:44 - Ireland - Cork

Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML

agreeclassic 10 291

vote type 1 35 215

misswilwarin96 11

Saturday 26 October 2019 0:32

Oh my god! Are you ok? What happened to your eardrum?

Comments

misswilwarin96 11

Saturday 26 October 2019 0:32

Oh my god! Are you ok? What happened to your eardrum?

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Today, while at the office, a surprise Valentine's gift arrived for me, the first I've ever received. It was a box of heart-shaped cookies. From my mother. I'm 39. FML

agreeclassic 33 746

vote type 1 4 144

Today, I was sitting down in the hallway at school. As I tried to get up, I lost my balance and fell against a hand sanitizer dispenser. It then continued to squirt sanitizer all over the back of my shirt, drenching the whole left side. FML

agreeclassic 11 033

vote type 1 1 469

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

agreeclassic 53 446

vote type 1 5 240

Today, after 4 days without being able to poop, now, while sitting stuck in traffic, I have the sudden urge to use the bathroom. FML

agreeclassic 1 801

vote type 1 156

Today, my boyfriend bought me a silver necklace. I have a silver allergy, but I thanked him anyway and encouraged him to return it. I found out later that he knew about my allergy all along and bought it on purpose so he could return it, get a refund, and still look good. FML

agreeclassic 63 406

vote type 1 5 023

Today, after submitting a 500-word essay to a writing contest, I found out that I lost to someone who wrote 3 sentences. FML

agreeclassic 4 031

vote type 1 511