Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a bike locked to a short bollard, making it very easy to steal. Being as nice as I am, I stayed, hoping the owner would come soon and no one else would take it. Then the guy who bullied me in highschool showed up, asked me what I was doing, laughed at me, took the bike, and left. FML
Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML
Today, I rode my bike to the store because I only had a few things to pick up. When I walked back out after five minutes, my bike was stolen. I had gone to the store to buy a new bike lock. FML
Today, I went on a 50 km bike ride with a friend. We stopped for a break halfway through, and locked our bikes up. When we returned, some guy had locked his bike to mine. We had to wait an hour for him to return. FML
Today, I biked to the store to buy a new lock, since biking is my only form of transportation. I left my bike unattended for the last time, only to come back with a new chain, but no bike. FML
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I was riding my bike, when I saw a large dog sitting in front of a house. I started to really crank the pedals, figuring that by the time it saw me, I'd be long gone. My chain popped off, I lost control and crashed onto the side of the road. The dog hadn't moved. It was a statue. FML
Today, I went out to where I'd parked my bike only to find that someone had stolen my bike seat. Not the bike, just the seat. I had to ride my bike two miles home in the rain like I was climbing a hill in the Tour de France, while other cyclists moved out of my way in confusion, all while trying to avoid me. FML
Today, I rode my newly-purchased bicycle to Lowe's to look at flooring and back splashes for our upcoming remodel. Upon leaving the store, I found out that my bicycle had been stolen by someone who had bought a hacksaw from that store while I was shopping. They left the receipt to mock me. FML
Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML
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Top comments
HeyThereGorgeous 0
German Shepherds are beautiful and sweet if trained correctly. Clearly this one wasn't
Tehalon 0
You gotta admit that it's funny :P
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Comments (154)
wolfman2012 0
get it #85 but seriously, i can understand being scared of a big growling dog, still kinda funny
JayFrankus 0
Not funny, not an FML
spoo 24
Im glad that wasnt me, id have found something to hog tie the dog with from a distance... or something... then laugh at the owner. your dog, you can make the sacrifices, not me
acev92 0
I would have gone back in and walked around, you know so I don't look like a loser. ( ;
keely90210 0
oh i bet the dog was growling....... you pussy
Glam_fml 0
I just wanted to throw out there that German Sheps. are the #1 breed of dogs that bite people, so the OP had every right to be scared of one who was GROWLING at him. There's a reason they are used for police work - they are powerful dogs! Shit, I would be scared too, and I own two (well-trained) German Shepherds..
Scotticus117 11
that's not really a fml, your a pussy, just grab your bike and run, let the german sheperd call down too. if someone stole your bike it woulda been a fml, that's what i thought you were gonna say halfway through it.
isgvfj 0
Pussy, I laugh with the owner, and I'm a thirteen year old girl.
ohhhhshizzz 0
"HAHAHA you're probably black aren't you? That would've been so funny. If you're a lady then the puppy probably would've been so aggressive; if you're a guy then you're a total pussy. If you were a man, the dog would growl for a few seconds and stop. The person above me (well, #78) doesn't know what the f*ck they're talking about. Dogs are very friendly animals -- they just don't like ******* (and pussy cats) and black people. I had a freaking high-content wolf and it was pretty obedient, so go wonder about a shepherd. The dog's owner sounds like an asshole though, so if what you said about having a dominant owner were true then the dog would've been quiet." Don't'cha just love the loser racist who has no idea what they are talking about?
Monstarred 7
Like all dogs, german shepards can be intimidating! But they can also be extremely loving dogs, so dont be too hard on their breed :]