Today, I realized that my husband and I are at that point in our marriage where "sleeping together" means scooting closer to each other in the bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that I've been intentionally causing arguments with my husband because the spare bed is more comfortable. FML
Today, at last, my husband instigated sex for the first time since the honeymoon a few months ago when he started fondling me in bed. Then I realised he was asleep. FML
Today, my husband and I have officially become that couple that has to schedule sex. Between his working, my going back to school, raising kids, doing housework and homework, we just haven’t had time. Last night we tried to be spontaneous and get it on. We both fell asleep. FML
Today, I realised it’s been too long since my partner and I have had sex. How do I know? This is the third night in a row he’s humped me in his sleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that sharing a bed with me was like sleeping with a seizing cat. FML
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML
Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML
Today, after struggling for hours to fall asleep with my husband's rather rattling snoring, I finally managed to drop off… only to be rudely awakened an hour later by my husband elbowing me in the face in his sleep. FML
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Top comments
krushr 3
Just keep scooting until your genitals get stuck together.
shireeniee 8
And then wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, yeah!
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Comments (154)
KiddNYC1O 22
Suck his dick.
jbird21 2
Well sharing the same bed is sleeping together. Scotching closer to each other could be cuddling. And if you want to have sex you might wanna stop calling it 'sleeping together'. Throw him a bone before he goes looking for one somewhere else. Better yet give him one.
wriptidez 0
and? just go have sex with him
bigmackin35 0
Bust a move
burnsie22 5
Sorry
emilyjgraham 34
I never did understand why "sleeping together" was sex. because if you think about it you don't actually have to "sleep by them" after you've done the business.
hollylolly92 3
What's scooting? :S
Calyx_fml 22
Welcome to marriage's dirty little secret. Hot smoking sex requires seductive novelty. Its easy to keep that going when you are new with each other. It's a lot harder when you've been married for a while. Don't focus on sex. Focus on novel ways to seduce your spouse. It still won't be as frequent though. Everyone naively thinks it will be but it never is. The vast majority of my married friends are like this. We are too, except when we come home drunk from a party. Love her though.
thewife5 19
100% true ^^^
MuchDance90s 0
we do it more often now than when we were dating. married 10 years, together 14.
H00SIERBOY 0
This is why being married sucks.
YoungSwag22 0
How long have you guys been married!? haha