Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

Today, whilst reading all 15 pages of this site, my French girlfriend asked me over my shoulder for translations, such as "What is buttsex?", "What is wanking?", and "What means farted?" FML

C'est la langue de l'amour!

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

Today, in one of the corridors at university, I was pretending to have passionate sex with one of my lecturers to make my mates laugh. She happened to walk by just at that moment. She reminded me when my next exam is; she will be marking me. FML

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

Today, I taught my girlfriend some French. She then used her newfound language to break up with me. FML

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

Where did you learn that one?

Today, I tried to impress a French student by saying “Bonjour!” but instead said “Bordel!” which means “Brothel.” She laughed, and so did every one of the french students around us. My cultural street cred is officially dead. FML

Today, I had a presentation in French class. I was so nervous, the first thing I said when I got up there was, "Hola." FML