School: C'est la langue de l'amour!

C'est la langue de l'amour!

By Anonymous - 19/10/2017 05:00

Today, my French teacher set up a role-play scenario to act out in front of the class. During one of my lines, I mispronounced a phrase and called my teacher sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 031

You deserved it 438

School

BO Central

Trans women are women

Release the tapes!

Geography

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 22:47 - United States

Today, I had to slowly explain to my boss that in some parts of the world, it's currently winter, due to the different hemispheres. He scoffed, accused me of "making shit up," and said that if I took him for a fool again, I'd be looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 460

You deserved it 2 346

By CrazyInLove - 10/03/2015 06:02 - United States - Castle Rock

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 319

You deserved it 7 312

By nocat6 - 15/09/2014 03:07 - United States - Northville

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 095

You deserved it 3 053

Eat the rich

By Anonymous - 11/04/2020 17:00

Today, at work, I found out that they are taking all bonus pay away, but giving us an extra $1 an hour due to Covid-19. Last week, they laid off half my department. Those people laid off are making more money on unemployment than I am now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 107

Cover up

By atsukobo - 02/11/2020 22:59 - United States

Today, after a nasty fight with my military husband, which resulted in mandatory marriage counseling, he told me we needed to talk about the fight. Not talk it over and apologize; talk it over so our stories are consistent when we see the therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 292

You deserved it 154

By Anonymous - 19/01/2010 07:58 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me for six months with my best friend of five years. After asking him what she had that I didn't, he responded with one word - "Boobies." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 780

You deserved it 4 607

You tried… Yay!

By twat - 23/01/2009 06:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality, he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 967

You deserved it 7 811

By IngenuityAbsent - 22/02/2015 13:54 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, I had a dream where I whacked my head against my shelf. I woke up immediately after, freaked out and whacked my head against my shelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 183

You deserved it 4 732

By meggs2209 - 12/01/2012 20:06 - United States

Today, Dell's tech support called to tell me that the laptop I sent to them was going to cost an extra $300 to fix, because of the shattered screen. When I mailed my laptop to them, the touchpad wasn't working. The screen was fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 866

You deserved it 2 941

By Username - 06/06/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, I used a fire extinguisher for the first time. Too bad it was on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 246

You deserved it 3 547

By Anonymous - 27/11/2009 16:43 - United States

Today, I was at a dinner with my dad's girlfriend's family. I met this guy who I found kind of cute and tried to talk to him a couple times. To avoid talking to me he started playing his PSP. I could see the screen perfectly and the PSP was clearly off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 911

You deserved it 6 108

Not like that

By weirdo - 21/02/2010 08:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted me to send him a pic of myself being happy for his phone's caller ID. So I picked out a picture where I'm grinning a big grin, clearly very happy like he asked. He replies back, "You look weird there. Send a pretty one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 260

You deserved it 5 017

Oh no!

By AnnoyedandAutistic - 01/06/2017 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were eating breakfast at my strict Christian grandparent's house when he said that it was impossible for anyone bigger than a grapefruit to be swallowed by a whale. My grandmother asked him, "What about Jonah?" to which he replied, "Oh, that's just a myth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 940

You deserved it 609

Early meeting

By mycariswrecked - 20/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Tinley Park

Today, I was going to meet up with my boyfriend's mother to watch his swim meet with her. On my way to the high school, I got in a car accident. The person driving the other car was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 228

You deserved it 185

By unknown - 17/08/2019 02:00 - Canada

Today, my wife figured out I gave her a dollar store ring for our anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 4 562

Don't go to Sunn O))) concerts, kids

By Anonymous - 17/07/2021 12:01 - United States - Mount Jackson

Today, my doctor told me that the intense, non stop ringing in my ears, which started suddenly at the beginning of the year, has no cure, no treatment options, and I just need to learn to live with it. I have severe auditory sensory issues, and have barely been getting by. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 73

Pile on

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Livermore

Today, I was laughingly informed that I'm an overachiever, by my doctor who thinks I have more health conditions than anyone my age should have. Guess who was just diagnosed with another? FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 89

By mdp624 - 16/08/2012 12:10 - United States - Brookhaven

Today, I was T-boned while going through an intersection. The guy who hit me accused me of not using my turn signal. I was going straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 652

You deserved it 1 552

By myles bevan - 09/09/2010 10:01 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst sat next to a old lady on a flight back to the UK, I exclaimed how I wished somebody would gag the crying baby a few rows behind us. Her reply was, "That's my grandson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 116

You deserved it 39 857

By blueberry_hill - 11/12/2010 16:16 - United States

Today, my thirteen month old son woke me up at 6AM on my day off, by punching me in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 743

You deserved it 6 112

By Anonymous - 12/12/2011 20:23 - United States

Today, I had an allergic reaction to my deodorant. My armpits wouldn't stop itching, and by the time my shift was over, they were raw and bloody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 412

You deserved it 3 702

By DontBeRude - 28/09/2015 04:05 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mother felt the need to remind me not to fall in love with a fictional character. After laughing and reassuring her that I knew the difference between fiction and reality, she replied, "You know, honey, sometimes I'm not so sure." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 401

You deserved it 3 835

Simple Pleasures

By boredwithnothingtodo - 29/10/2019 06:07 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got a new washer and dryer set. It's sad when all you have to do at night is make popcorn and watch the clothes washing. I even invited friends over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 290

By Zippermania9 - 11/08/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I found out that if you fall asleep in church, people will think you're having a spiritual moment, and you'll wake up to ten people praying for you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 590

You deserved it 13 628

By puppydrama - 30/01/2013 21:05 - United States

Today, my dad and his new wife got their wedding pictures done. Out of over 150 pictures, I was only in one. The family dog was in all of them. In the one picture of me, I was holding the dog's leash while he took a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 925

You deserved it 2 915

By insurance lies - 08/07/2013 14:48 - United States

Today, I had to get an MRI. I double and triple checked to make sure there was no out-of-pocket cost. When I arrived at the testing center, I was expected to pay full price for the test. It costs $2,360. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 468

You deserved it 3 915

By vibratorgirl - 08/03/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I left my parents house to drive 90 minutes back to college. As I was getting off the exit for my school, I realized I left my bright pink vibrator sitting on my dresser back at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 031

You deserved it 73 729

By Anonymous - 16/06/2019 00:01

Today, my 16-year-old cousin told me she was "late." When I asked if she could be pregnant, she said no, because, "you can't get pregnant the first time you have sex." I ended up having to give her the sex talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 429

You deserved it 204

By Anonymous - 06/05/2017 02:20

Today, as I was pulling out of my apartment complex, I was rear-ended. When I got out of my car to see how bad the damage was, I wondered why the other guy wasn't getting out of his. As it turns out, he was busy pleasing himself. I found out when I approached his car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 824

You deserved it 433

Word of the day

By Maryann - 19/03/2021 05:01

Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 67

By scorpionsurviver - 08/07/2012 09:47 - United States

Today, I was brushing my teeth when I looked up. There was a huge scorpion dangling on the air vent above my head. I was trapped in the bathroom for over an hour trying to build the courage to run out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 345

You deserved it 6 553

The apple of my eye

By anonymous - 17/07/2020 08:00

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by bringing him some dinner. He made the same noise unwrapping the burger that he does when he sees me naked. I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 293

By Anonymous - 25/03/2012 12:09 - Australia - Croydon

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 579

You deserved it 14 488

Parent #1 of the Year

By no i'm sure you're a responsible parent - 09/04/2020 02:00 - United States

Today, I got bitched out by some lady in a Walmart because I looked at her funny while she was on the phone, loudly bragging about "slapping the shit out of" her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 172

By RoseTylerTheDoctor - 11/06/2017 06:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I told my crush how I feel about him. It's been over 12 hours and he still says he's thinking about it. I asked him about it ; he says he's thinking of how to reject me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 954

You deserved it 416

What a banker

By Norse_Freyja - 15/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Conroe

Today, my husband and I went to the bank to figure out why our loan process has been such a pain in the ass, and why we can never get in contact with our lender. The bank said he quit last week. Guess he didn't think to tell anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 46

By Anonymous - 25/02/2017 21:45 - Canada

Today, I had to explain to a customer that she can't use the bathroom while going through the drive-thru. I still don't understand what exactly she had in mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 742

You deserved it 420

By oh great - 09/08/2015 15:23 - United Kingdom - Doncaster

Today, my brother let me fly his two day old, expensive drone. Within a minute I had crashed it into a potato field. Four hours of searching and we still haven't found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 412

You deserved it 11 394

By idiot - 24/01/2013 19:53 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 545

You deserved it 40 212

Gourmet dinner

By the_emilymohr - 28/03/2020 23:00

Today, after feeding my cats, I walked out of the room. Five minutes later, I heard one of them making a hacking sound. Knowing the outcome, I went to get some paper towels to wipe up the mess. When I went in, my other cat was eating it. Certain things cannot be unseen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 209

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Tripartita 44

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 5:12

Eh, language can be confusing and simple mistakes happen. It's really no big deal if you accidentally call somebody sexy. Or if you inadvertently tell them your loins burn for them. Or if you mistakenly say it takes every ounce of restraint to not tear their clothes off, bend them over, and press every part of them into every part of you, mouth watering as you f—…uh, so, anyway, stay in school!

raven_of_azarath 34

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 6:53

How’d you manage that? Sexy is still sexy in French. Just with a French accent.

Comments

ThrottleJockey 34

Send a private message

Wednesday 18 October 2017 15:47

As if the French language wasn't sultry enough. Top marks!

Tripartita 44

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 5:12

Akitakat 31

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 13:35

This was just getting interesting!

really_dad? 13

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 5:15

Extraaaaa Creeeediiiiitttt

raven_of_azarath 34

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 6:53

How’d you manage that? Sexy is still sexy in French. Just with a French accent.

neuronerd 28

Thursday 19 October 2017 13:58

I was wondering the same, and trying to think of what french word, specifically an adjective, sounds similar to sexy.

Cali 54

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 20:08

He might have said "beau cul" instead of "beaucoup" - big difference!

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 7:23

Totally understandable for French — such a sexy language. I once told my French girlfriend’s mom that I couldn’t eat any more food because I was pregnant. Even their word for “hardware store” is sexy!!!

Xavyeah 74

Send a private message

Friday 20 October 2017 10:59

Du you mean "quincaillerie" ?

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Friday 20 October 2017 13:09

Mais, bien sûr!

Xavyeah 74

Send a private message

Friday 20 October 2017 15:05

I recall seeing a video on Youtube of non-French speakers trying to pronounce French words, and this was one of them. Although, honestly, to a native French-speaker (which I am), this word does not sound sexy at all... And is seldom used.

RichardPencil 30

Send a private message

Friday 20 October 2017 15:44

I think it’s impossible for native speakers of a language to know what words sound sexy (or funny or poetic, etc.) to people learning that language. For example, everything that rhymes with “feuille” sounds awkward and silly. People giggle when I pronounce Poiseuille correctly. They think it’s PWAH-zoo-eel, or something like that. I’ve always wondered what English words sound silly or sexy to non-English speakers. Say what you like, but if a French girl whispered “quincaillerie” to me, I’d go weak in the knees.

Lobby_Bee 17

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 9:17

I really hope it's a female teacher, cause it's going to be awkward if you say it to a male teacher.

arioch_fml 20

Send a private message

Thursday 19 October 2017 17:35

What if that's what Op is into? He might be embarrassed, but depending on how old he is, he might have inadvertently made his move already.

donb23 23

Send a private message

Friday 20 October 2017 1:01

Well that is better than meeting your spainsh speaking mother-in-law for the first time and mispronouncing a word that is whore in the worst possible way.

Lillysar91 20

Send a private message

Friday 20 October 2017 20:10

Beau cul instead of beaucoup or bon coup etc. Vous êtes chaud(e) instead of vous avez chaud changes the meaning to you are hot(sexy). Yeah can happen. like saying ich bin heiß (i'm horny) instead of mir ist heiß. A letter or a simple word can change the whole meaning of a sentence but don't beat yourself about it you're learning a language you'll need time to get the hang of it. If it wasn't intentional your teacher isn't going to sanction you but I can imagine the embarrassment.

Nearly

Today, I feel like I'm going crazy as I'm in a 2-year relationship with a guy who's 17 years older than me (I'm 23). He's a wonderful partner and I'm totally in love, but the age gap causes monthly, sometimes daily, shifts between wanting to have it all with him, and wanting to leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 39

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 23

Spicy

Today, I found out on Facebook that my mom and step-dad have an open marriage. To make matters worse, my step-dad shamed me for not being more sex positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 40

Today, I found out why my husband faked being sick on Thanksgiving. He was invited to Thanksgiving dinner by to the coworker he’s seeing. She was planning to introduce him to her family. He never told her he was married, so knowing I would tag along if he came, he faked having a “fever” so he couldn’t go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 25