Today, at a party, I watched the guy I've liked for AGES come out of a bedroom with one of my gay male friends. They were in there for a while. FML

The long game

Today, my gay best friend slept over, as he has many times during the past three years of our friendship. This time, however, he confessed to me that he's only pretended to be gay to get closer to me because he's in love with me. I've allowed my stalker to sleep in my house and in my bed for three years. FML

Today, after being out of the closet for over three years, I learned that some of my friends still don't believe me that I am really a lesbian. They still think I made the whole thing up because I can't get a man. FML

Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML

Today, I found that my "lesbian" best friend and roommate is now dating the guy I've been trying to get a date with for weeks. FML

Mask off

Today, I found out that the guy I've been dating for a year is and always has been gay. I was apparently "an amazingly convenient beard" for his ultra-religious family. FML

Today, a stranger told me how proud he was that my boyfriend and I were so open with our sexuality. For the past three years, most strangers have thought we're a pair of gay men. I'm a woman. FML

Today, I found out the girl I've been trying to date for six months is gay. FML

Look at me

Today, I realized that my gay male friend tells me I’m pretty, gives me random compliments, and shows me off more often than my husband of 10 years. I legitimately can’t remember the last time my husband called me beautiful. Even if I ask him how I look, the best I’ll get is “You look fine.” FML

Ally

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML