Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML
Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, while I was driving around the neighborhood, I passed my neighbors' house only to see their dog with a full-grown dead cat in its mouth. Only one family owns a cat in our neighborhood. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
you sick moron.
Senseless_487 29
Way to take responsibility for your actions. YDI!
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Comments (310)
elowyn4life 0
running over an animal is just one of those responsibilities in life that you have to deal with honestly, especially if it's your neighbors cat. it's part of the deal I guess when you have a car that you take full responsibility for your actions.
mickeyymouse 0
hahahahahahahahahahahaha. that's hilarious ;P poor cat tho :
Coccinelle_fml 15
Did you seriously expect to get sympathy for this?
crobcrob 1
idiot!
nerdsgetmehot 23
The next time you mess up that horribly, let's hope that you take responsibility instead of coming up with a cover-up. :/
TBman256 0
I also lost my cat to an idiot driver. I hope they beat the crap out of you.
greatnt249 0
Look, it's simple; the easiest way to keep pets from getting hit by cars is, get this...KEEPING THEM INSIDE. If you knew the cat was outside, it's your own damn fault for tempting fate.
Chocolate_Chunk 2
same is true for humans of any age. keep them inside because letting them out is tempting fate. What, you want your kid to be able to go to the playground? screw you, you irresponsible ****. And don't you dare to let your 17 year old go meet friends at the mall!
ANTLink19 4
WIN!!! That is awesome. A for effort. When you found out you were being watched did you deny it? Super WIN if yes.
moncheri1314 0
YDI YDI YDI!!! You were only worried about not getting caught??!!? What about how the owners felt about losing their pet, a member of their family? AND how they felt watching a sneaky coward try to make it look like someone else's fault? U disgust me and you're lucky it wasn't my cat cuz I would have first pressed charges for animal cruelty for hiding it, and secondly, after the police left I would have chased you with a blow gun...just wait for the kharma on this one!! U bad, bad person!
Sammara 0
The phrase "special place in hell" comes to mind. YDI for not fessing up and trying to make your neighbors believe they killed their own cat. But, your neighbor should have kept the cat inside.
moncheri1314 0
furthermore...your username should not be awesome...it should be psychotic liabilty to humankind.