Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML
Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, while I was driving around the neighborhood, I passed my neighbors' house only to see their dog with a full-grown dead cat in its mouth. Only one family owns a cat in our neighborhood. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, I met my neighbors for the first time, as they helped me carry my dead cat off the road. FML
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
you sick moron.
Senseless_487 29
Way to take responsibility for your actions. YDI!
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Comments (310)
nikalb3 0
I shouldn't say this but my sick sense of humor is laughing my ass off. shame on you for being a dumb ass!
pingpongpenguin 3
170, what was the fml?
Irenefvc 0
You should blame the cat's owner for didn't take good care of the cat. They shouldn't allow the cat to walk in the street. The cat's just dunno how to cross the streets. But this is really hilarious... What a day....
glitterydisaster 0
Today, while trying to cross the street, I was hit by a car and killed. The sicko then proceeded to shove my corpse under another man's car while my family looked on in horror. Meow, (FML).
Teddybearsjj 0
hahahahhaha
therealbmw 2
that's. hilarious no joke this made my day!
mad2physicist 0
This isn't f*ck your life, this is f*ck you for being a bad driver and killing a cat and then being a douchebag wanker about it. First time that I have wished there was an option 'you deserved WORSE.'
xxElle 0
that's disgusting. society is fked up.
moon21_fml 0
How did you get your license??? You must've had a lousy instructor.... Or do you even have a license?! Fthe poor kitty's life RIP YDI
smurf1 0
I hope you rott in hell!!!