Intimacy: Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could...

By pear8head - 08/08/2009 16:31 - United States

Today, I ran into my new apartment neighbor. She said she could hear me and my girlfriend having wild sex last night. She told me she had always wanted to have a threesome. My new neighbor is as old as my grandma, and even resembles her. I politely declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 341

You deserved it 5 914

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Same thing different taste

By holler - 15/09/2011 04:22 - Japan

Today, I had my parents over at my new apartment. As I was telling them how quiet and peaceful my new place is, we could hear my neighbors talking nasty to each other before launching into a full-blown sex ordeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 212

You deserved it 3 162

Sorry, what?

By butch - 13/11/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my upstairs neighbor congratulated me on keeping him up 'til dawn with my girlfriend and the chick in the apartment next to us. He doesn't know how I got them to agree to a threesome. Since I was at my folks all weekend, neither do I. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 2 409

By Anonymous - 14/03/2012 19:31 - United States

Today, I was masturbating, and out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure. It was my neighbor staring at me through the window with a total look of disgust. I moved in this weekend and hadn't yet introduced myself to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 892

You deserved it 33 114

By TooLoud - 31/05/2015 00:12 - United States - Moorpark

Today, I got a text from my neighbor complaining about my girlfriend and me being too noisy in bed. I'm at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 160

You deserved it 3 013

Keep it down

By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 058

You deserved it 8 499

By Anonymous - 02/07/2016 04:17 - United States - Hayward

Today, after 3 days of interrupted sleep, I confronted my new neighbor about the noise his wife keeps making during their "private time". He then let me know the noise is actually from his daughter, who's mentally disabled and isn't taking the move well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 144

You deserved it 3 826

Missed opportunity

By NOOOOOO - 21/04/2025 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend and her best friend came home after a long night. They both hopped into the bed and were very insistent that I join them. I said I felt weird about it and slept on the couch. The next morning, my pissed off girlfriend said that they wanted a threesome but I killed the mood. Fuck, I'm an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 743

By Ghettogirl4life - 12/07/2011 13:34 - United States

Today, I moved into my new apartment. My neighbor is apparently crazy and thinks I'm trying to 'steal' her husband. She watches me and is super paranoid. I have a two year lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 071

You deserved it 3 181

Nice place to live!

By GrossedOutKary - 19/05/2010 19:20 - Puerto Rico

Today, after finally moving into a better neighborhood, my family and I were greeted by the elderly couple who live window to window to us. How? By hearing them have sex loudly and then praying for forgiveness even louder. Welcome to the neighborhood! FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 079

You deserved it 3 418

Who are you?

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 03:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, a kid walked in on me and my new FWB having sex at her place. I knew she had children, so I asked if it was hers. No, it was her son's. I'm boning a grandma who's not even 50. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 445

56578 0

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:10

I think she said it to make you uncomfortable... Yeah, she may want to have a threesome, but the purpose of the comment was to tell you to not be so loud.... I must say though, if you were loud enough for her to hear you at night, without her hearing aids, you're either really pleasing your girlfriend or she's faking it in a big way. Hopefully, you're just really good in bed.

cucumberfabulous 7

Sunday 9 August 2009 1:03

That's uhhh.......kind of disturbing

Comments

ali3n_accomplic3 0

Saturday 15 August 2009 18:53

Ew...

suckmysarcasm 10

Tuesday 18 August 2009 23:15

shame on you for declining! i would've f-ed the dust off her pussy! ^^ i would've did it to her dinosaur-style!

cadetxtemprencex 0

Wednesday 19 August 2009 7:26

that is really, really gross. but hilariously funny. though traumatizing. FML.

McrFreak2011 0

Friday 28 May 2010 4:17

ugh!#75 you nasty!!! Would you have ****** an old woman that looked like ur granny?!?!? gross!!!>_

TrippingOverAir 0

Thursday 10 September 2009 16:20

thats really gross, and also embarrasing to know she heard and was probably listening to your girlfriend that night. FML But WOW. obviously the granny is not afraid of speaking her mind. She's probably aware she doesn't have long to live and she like, **** it, I'm having a threesome before I die, whether people think I'm crazy or not. Go granny. :)