By lukas - 11/01/2014 00:24 - Canada - Lyndhurst

Spicy
Today, my new neighbor asked if I could keep my dog from yapping during the evenings, because it kept him awake last night. I don't have a dog, but I apologized anyway. I didn't have the heart to admit that those are the sounds my girlfriend makes during sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks 55 828
You deserved it 8 444

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You're taking doggy style to a whole different level!

May I suggest a muzzle?

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May I suggest a muzzle?

I'd go for the shock collar... Kinky.

You must be doing something right ;)

honestly I wouldn't doubt it if the neighbor knew it was a human making the noises. ..that's just the kind way of saying keep it down. I mean if I heard my neighbors sex noises, I'd definitely blame it on their dog so they'd get the hint that I can hear strange noises and they need to make a change. its like the passive aggressive approuch to it.

I don't think you know what passive aggressive means…

Sounds like your girlfriend isn't the only bitch on your street.

I get where that was going but you still failed horribly

Try shutting all windows and doors, see if that helps

They could live in an apartment complex with thin walls...

I got a $75 noise complaint when I lived in an apartment complex with ridiculously thin walls. For my sex noises. :x Also had the property manager bang on my door when I WAS genuinely being quiet. Glad to be out of there...

#43 - On YouTube there's a guy who does something called "The thin wall challenge. " it's quite random.

who in the hell fucks with their windows and doors opened

You're taking doggy style to a whole different level!

Gentlemanly of you, I suppose... Though very unladylike of her.

What would you prefer? That she was just still and silent like a board?

No one's a lady in bed, I suppose.

All the girls I know are still and silent. I really should stop having sex in the cemetery.

It seems #70 doesn't comprehend controversial humour. Your comment made my day, #68

Haha thanks @ #76 :)

76, I comprehended it. I just didn't appreciate it. *Different.*

Really the only thing different is they don't complain when I finish early.

I can see how that would appeal to you.

Haha, please calm down. I'm not attacking you, I'm just here to give the gift of comedy! I'm sure the entire FML community doesn't share my morbid sense of humor.

REALAfroninga: 4 Gracehi: 0

Hey #84 um maybe just maybe could you please lighten up a bit and enjoy the humour?

She's an animal in bed.

she's a lady in the street but a freak in the sheets

Wow 30, that's original. Did you come up with that on your own?

#37. Your level of sarcasm is going off the charts right now. Dial it down a little, eh?

37, the two comments above the one you criticized were both "unoriginal" yet you choose to say something about the third. Tsk. :/

Doggy style level: Greek goddess

It was the Egyptian gods that gad the dog heads. ;)

Sounds pretty ruff

If you two do it doggy style and put it on tape you'll have the funniest porno in existence

If I ever watch that porno, I would be really confused. Because I don't know if I'm turned on, or just going to laugh my ass off for the whole time.

You ought to get her to crap on his lawn -- just to keep the dog ruse going.

*insert bitch joke here*