Today, I put on a shirt that said, "Skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "Since when?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wore my boyfriend's favorite shirt to surprise him and show him how sexy I look. He made me take it off and pay the bill for dry cleaner. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted me to get a shirt saying "I'm a girl," just so people won't think he's gay. FML
Today, I was dressing in front of my boyfriend. He was looking at me in wonder and I assumed this was a good thing. Then he muttered, "God damn, you're awkwardly shaped." FML
Today, I put my boyfriend's t-shirt on and took sexy pictures with nothing else but panties. I then sent him the pictures. His reply was, "Can you wash that when you're done?" FML
Today, I found out that every time my boyfriend has cutely joked about my clothes not matching while we're just lounging around the house, he's really been hoping I would catch on that he thinks I look like a slob. FML
Today, my boyfriend was wearing a new shirt he had bought over the weekend. It was really cute and I always borrow his shirts so I asked to borrow his new one. He replied with, "Okay but please don't stretch this one." FML
Today, I was trying on a shirt and asked my boyfriend if he liked it. He replied, "If I say no, can we still have sex tonight?" FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend his shirt and pants did not match and that he should change for dinner. All my belongings are now on the sidewalk. FML
Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DocBastard 40
Wow...you're the very epitome of classy, aren't you?
DocBastard 40
It's called a double entendre, "bro". It's supposed to sound sexual without being overtly sexual. Get it? And don't call me "bro". I already have two of them, and that's quite enough.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
Ally156 5
Hahahahaha thats pretty funny
mvc3ftw 17
So,Judging by the shirt I'd say you played lots of sports...right op?
Crazynopantsman 11
With a lot of balls.
1dvs_bstd 41
Bam!
perdix 31
Hmm, I'm guessing that either your blow jobs suck, or you're frustrating his plans for space travel by not letting him explore Uranus.
YouSoClear 6
Punny...
Ally156 5
Hahaha that's a classic!
Enslaved 38
Would that exploration be done with a Hubble Space Telescope? :P
perdix 31
#31, sure, why not? We already call it the weasel, the chicken, the monkey, the ferret, etc, so what's one more euphemism. "Hubble Space Telescope" is quite a mouthful, but that should be no obstacle for someone with nimble oral skills.
witchdoctor1 9
But perdix, how many girls do you know that can say that mouth full? Especially when their mouth is full?
buckdharma 38
maybe she needs longer hours.
every1luvsboners 11
Take a dump on his chest. That'll teach him to question your ability. I remember when Doc used to come over every other Saturday night and take a dump on my glass coffee table as I enjoyed the view from under it - in exchange for his weekly milk money.
Vimy 6
What did I just read.
russfml 31
Wtf
XxEP1CFAC3xX 4
What the ****?!
perdix 31
The first sentence is a description of the Cleveland Steamer (which coincidentally was the name of the football team before they became the Browns -- in both cases a shitty football team.) The part about Doc and the coffee table gets a "Dafuq" from me, too.
metalhead4740 14
What. Just what...
SenselessPattern 12
Hey, every1luvsboners came out of retirement!
pradip 26
It just gave me a hell of a laugh! Weird part of FML
Negroification 7
I love how the comments section is already 70% judgemental people making a big deal over a joke shirt. I'm sure your boyfriend was just teasing you, don't take it personally.
Halti 4
YDI considering you wear those Nike shirts with those horrible statements. "Get on my level." "Try a different sport!" "Too much swag." etc
michael99man 5
That's probably cuz you weren't "practicing" with him.
obviousboy 8
Prove him wrong.