Today, I pulled off the road to help a turtle cross it. Before I could get out of my car a dump truck ran over the turtle, splattering my car with turtle guts and bits of shell. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while on the road, I saw a turtle in the middle of the other lane. I slammed on my brakes and got out, holding up, and pissing off, several drivers on both sides of the highway. Getting closer to the turtle, I realized that it was not a turtle at all, but a very large pile of dog shit. FML
Today, I saw a turtle on the road so I swerved, and hit a tree. The people behind me then hit the turtle. FML
Today, I saw a poor helpless cat in the middle of the road while driving. I pulled over and scooped it in my arms to bring it to safety. Not only did I get mauled and scratched by the cat, my car also wasn't put in park and rolled away hitting a parked car. FML
Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, while driving home, I swerved to avoid turning a duck and her babies into roadkill. Another car was coming around a sharp bend at the time and swerved to avoid hitting me. In the end, we both ran our cars off the road, and he took out several ducks in the process. FML
Today, while going for a walk, I saw two bunnies next to the road. Apparently, I was scarier than the oncoming traffic, because one of them decided to sprint into the road as I walked by. I could hear its bones crunch as it got hit by a car. FML
Today, I swerved to miss hitting a kitten, over-corrected, hit and killed the cat, and totaled my truck by hitting a parked car. FML
Today, while driving home I saw a few deer running beside me. I stopped to let them go in front. Instead, one face-plants, ramming into the side of my new car. FML
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Top comments
chitochito 17
Looks like he'll burn in shell.
CryingPotato 7
Looks like you were too slow heheh... I'll leave now
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Comments (95)
catanita 18
Poor thing. Many animals perish due to our roads. It is very sad.
koijj 14
wow that sucks when people like you do nice things just because you can. but then it backfires and it doesn't work out at all.
catanita 18
There is a saying: No good deed goes unpunished. Somehow applies here.
SteveBassist 20
Turtle-y awful.
brenton490 19
RIP turtle 2016-2016.
ritzkets 12
it's the thought that counts
writerchic85 26
I think this is really more of an Fml for the turtle.
danman27 15
Oh no!
BillysBurgers 5
OP, you deserve two things. Praise for trying to help a turtle cross the road. Therapy for that horrible, horrible accident.
GruesomeUrchin7 10
The turtle should not have been on the road
kaegomay12 17
Why did the turtle cross the road? To fill up on dishell!