Kids: Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He...

By adeeri - 04/09/2014 01:24 - United States - Jackson

Today, a little kid accidentally ran into me at the pool. He apologized by biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 297

You deserved it 3 228

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Same thing different taste

By butisavedyourkid - 06/06/2013 04:13 - United States

Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 268

You deserved it 3 542

By mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 175

You deserved it 3 236

By buttpain - 01/12/2016 18:29

Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 613

You deserved it 844

By Braxam - 15/06/2011 16:42 - United States

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 586

You deserved it 3 641

By Anonymous - 12/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 640

You deserved it 6 653

By mandy - 10/04/2009 15:35 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 281

You deserved it 3 559

Sorry sweetie

By ddhaley1 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Edmond

Today, instead of kissing my child's boo-boo on her finger to make it feel better, I accidentally headbutted her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 804

You deserved it 3 321

By Anonymous - 09/06/2019 12:41

Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 840

You deserved it 102

By klutz - 10/08/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 855

You deserved it 56 840

By Collin - 10/06/2010 19:59 - United States

Today, I was at a public pool. A very fat kid yelled, "Cannon Ball!" He jumped right on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 835

You deserved it 4 522

Miss_Chevious 37

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:02

You should have said "its okay" by pinching his nose

tony1891 22

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:03

how does he say hello i wonder?

Comments

Miss_Chevious 37

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:02

You should have said "its okay" by pinching his nose

ryanpreiss 17

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:17

*Omanomnomnomnom*

urdirtyolduncle 15

Thursday 4 September 2014 14:01

^that's only appropriate if there are cookies involved.

Miss_Chevious 37

Thursday 4 September 2014 15:17

what do cookies have anything to do with a stray child biting strangers?

noah_1234 24

Friday 5 September 2014 1:24

because of the comment above him

CaptainCola 7

Friday 5 September 2014 9:10

Probably the brother of the little girl that didn't pass her swim lesson :p

MeanBeagle 22

Wednesday 12 November 2014 0:08

and this is how zombie apocalypses start...

JMichael 25

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:02

Kids are such brats these days..

abattior 18

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:13

i don't think kids can be brats when they're raised well.

incoherentrmblr 21

Friday 5 September 2014 4:38

...and zombies...

tony1891 22

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:03

how does he say hello i wonder?

hippo1234 19

Thursday 4 September 2014 15:09

I'd probably wear a cup for that...

abattior 18

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:07

some parents he got..

Sandsh8rk 36

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:11

Say 'it's okay' by throwing him into the pool.

olpally 32

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:15

"Accidentally" shove him in the pool now.

Liamj774 36

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:18

Oh noes!

abe7654 9

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:20

Bite him back

classycoop 12

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:25

Say you are HIV positive and see the look on his face ╚(•⌂•)╝

MichellinMan 20

Thursday 4 September 2014 14:12

Damn that would've been one hell of a bite then.

anormalperson 25

Thursday 4 September 2014 17:26

I don't think a little kid would know what HIV is....

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 4 September 2014 12:31

Was his name Bruce? (Jaws)

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 237

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 024

You deserved it 3 406

The Top

Today, my boyfriend convinced me to skip school with him. His mom came home early. I had to hide in his closet and wait 6 hours for her to go to her book club meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 376

You deserved it 38 453

Today, my dad asked me if I needed crayons for school. I'm going to college this fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 361

You deserved it 220

Today, I had to politely request that my floormate not blast heavy metal music at 4 a.m. His response? "It’s the weekend," followed by him slamming the door in my face and turning the music up. I work weekends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 113

You deserved it 100

Today, my friend went to go pick up some weed from her dealer. That same day her parents were searching her room, so guess who posted it through my letterbox so their parents wouldn’t find it. Unfortunately, my very religious parents found it and now think I'm being directed by Satan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 212

Today, I got a call from a 24/7 psychiatric triage centre. Apparently, writing to the PM about assisted suicide puts you on their 'at risk' list. Is it not reasonable to ask if Australia is going to follow Canada's lead in complex mental health as a qualification for assisted suicide? I'm getting another call tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 180

Today, my boss, a treacherous weasel, threw me under the bus for a £300 mistake I made on my first day a year ago as an intern, trying to distract from his £12,000 fuck up from today. He got suspended, but my wages are temporarily reduced until the money from my mistake is paid back, all £300 of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 134

Same thing different taste

Sorry sweetie

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