Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

Today, I was crying because my cat died. My boyfriend cupped my face in his hands, looked me straight into the eyes and said, "I love seeing you cry." FML

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

Needy baby

Today, I'm taking care of my friend's cat while he's away for a while. She's very clingy and friendly, which I don't mind… or at least, I thought I didn't mind, until I tried to go to sleep and she insisted on lying on my face. I felt bad for having to kick her out of the bedroom. FML

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

Today, my mother talked shit about me to the cat while I was in the room. FML

Today, as every day for the past three weeks, my girlfriend's cat kept us up from 3:30am crying nonstop. We've tried everything, and even exiled my well-behaved cat to keep him company. Now she cries because she feels she's being punished. Starting around 4am. FML

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML