Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my 10-year-old brother. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML
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Top comments
caled123 0
who cares? its not hard to say 'that was my brother' and noone will take it seriously...
FMY_FYL 0
Your secret's out.
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Comments (185)
aykay 0
i spit out my orange juice reading this. :D
xohxbrittanyrae 0
#29=win
speeder430 0
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is definately the best fml EVER
geesquared 0
Hahahahaha my little brother does that all the time. Instead of saying "this devil kid william is annoying me" (I was babysitting) he put "this devil child penis is annoying". Not as bad, but still annoying.
bluttony 0
I love your little brother.
tempaccount 0
Offense: User failed to lock computer when leaving room. Computering license has been suspended for 2 days. YDI
anniebananie 3
Not an FML. People do this all the time to their roommates' facebooks. At any given time, I can log in and see "John sucks his own dick" and other exciting status changes on my news feed. Everyone knows it's a joke.
cineturtle 0
props to your brother lol.
ha_fml 3
ugh, same thing happened to me with my little brother, but i hadn't done anything to piss him off. except he wrote "i love sucking my dad's dick." ******* disgusting RETARD. RAGE RAGE RAGE
Marshmellows 0
Loool!!!!!!!!
suckstobeyou3 0
wow, you're little bro is awesome! well, to everyone else except you XD if you're a girl, it wouldn't seem AS strange. but if you're a guy...XDDDDDD that would be reallyyy funny! i put YDI for pissing him off in the first place and FYL for having a smartass little brotherrr