How about getting a mattress cover Or looking for some more interesting places to have relations in your home Be safe and creative

return that shit then.

You aren't allowed to sleep on it either ... it's the couch for you mister

Aw, don't worry about it -- sex is overrated. Shhh! Everybody, let's pretend that's true to make the OP feel better. We know the truth ;)

You get to have kinky sex in many varied and different places other than vanilla sex in a bed. Huzzah!

But you can still play Marco-polo on it till you find each other and fall to the floor where you can proceed to eat and have sex right??

I'm just curious as to why she can tell you what you can and can't do? ydi

Looks like the kitchen table is going to be the favorite piece of furniture in your house from now on.

You really should not be eating or drinking in bed anyway...

Im sorry what? Its not her bed, it belongs to both of you. Do what you want, just dont be needlessly messy. And if she wont have sex, just enjoy that endless sandwich in your pocket.