Today, I pissed my younger brother off. Seemingly unrelated to this was the fact that I left my laptop on in my room along with MSN signed into my email adress. Now, all my contacts know that I apparently "just love the warm feeling of semen sliding down my throat". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I told my brother to piss off. He decided to do exactly that, from the balcony onto my lap. FML
Today, I was on MSN with my friend and my 9 year old brother. My friend asked me for some advice about how to give a guy a good blowjob. I went into great detail, and then realised that I had typed it to the wrong window. I gave my little brother tips on how to perform fellatio. FML
Today, I realized that the "toothpaste" that I'm always cleaning out with my hands from the sink drain is actually my little brother's semen. FML
Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML
Today, I fell asleep while using my laptop. The next thing I know, it's 8am and my dad is screaming at me for posting "u skank-ass cunt-face" on my mom's Facebook timeline. I never made that post, but he won't believe me. My asshole brother, meanwhile, can't stop smirking at me. FML
Today, I accidentally sent a nude to my 10-year-old brother. FML
Today, I entered the bathroom to discover that my brother had left semen and filthy water all over the floor and counter. I confronted him and demanded that he clean it up. My parents heard, sighed, and sent me back into the bathroom to clean it up myself. The towel was soaked too. FML
Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML
Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML
Today, I logged on to MSN for the first time in a month. In under 10 minutes, I found out that my little sister had changed my screen name to Jake the Weiner, told my friend that he should "suck my d***" and sent an email to all my contacts declaring my love for my best friend. FML
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Top comments
caled123 0
who cares? its not hard to say 'that was my brother' and noone will take it seriously...
FMY_FYL 0
Your secret's out.
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Comments (185)
thessad 0
Hopefully everyone would be smart enough to realize that you'd be joking. So while a bunch of people now think that you make lame jokes, it beats them thinking that you like guys finishing in your mouth.
LilKonvicted 0
Are you a dude or a dudette?
angst 0
You're surprised he did something like this? You already pissed him off. You basically said 'hey, now you can get back at me'. YDI.
heavyop 0
Hahaha Your brother is awesome! I can't wait for him to post an FML about how you got him back!
Antonio718 0
Such a retard now people are going to think your a **** (assuming your a girl, but if your a guy even more funny!!)
thessad 0
And now it dawns on me that you're probably a girl. I need to stop assuming that everyone who doesn't say explicitly that they're a girl or has an FML about their boyfriend is a guy. In that case, it's hardly a big deal. I still doubt anyone would take you seriously about that.
HarborLights 0
Hahaha I do this to my cousin allllll the time. I also always make sure to sign out of facebook or anything else when she's in the house.
shmaller 0
Hahaha, your brother's very creative.
cheese1756 0
Ouch. . . but that is a good idea for me to keep in mind *Laughs evilly*
ohhhhshizzz 0
Oh, well I guess you are going to start getting a few nice looks from the well dressed male variety. Don't go to a dark alley alonee.... pahah. Well your brother is AWESOMEEE. I'd do something like that to my big brother too. FYL dude FYL.