Today, I picked my 12-year-old daughter up from school after her first sexual education lecture. She burst into tears on the way home explaining her fears of being pregnant with her boyfriend's child. As if that doesn't sound bad enough, I've met her boyfriend before. He is imaginary. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter came up to me crying. When I asked her what was wrong, she told me that she had a fight with her imaginary boyfriend. She's 16. I raised this child. FML
Today, I was a bit upset to learn that my 13 year-old daughter had a boyfriend. When she noticed, she assured me that I shouldn't worry, because "it's just for sex anyway". FML
Today, my 14-year-old daughter told me she's pregnant and plans on dropping out of school to live a life on the road with her boyfriend. FML
Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML
Today, I found out that my daughter not only has a boyfriend, but that they're trying for a baby. She's barely 15. FML
Today, I had to call a parent and tell them that their special needs daughter is pregnant. FML
Today, my 15-year-old daughter told me that she's pregnant. To make matters worse, she doesn't know who the father is. She told me not to worry though, because she has it narrowed down to "like, only 3 guys." FML
Today, a sixth grader complained to me about her emotionally cheating ex and her current boyfriend. I haven't had a single partner yet. A 12 year-old has a VERY EXISTENT and better love life than I do. When I said this to her she said "Well, at least your parents love you." They didn't. I need therapy. And a life. FML
Today, I finally found out my suspicions about my 12 year-old daughter were correct, and I don’t know which one is worse: She's had a boyfriend and has denied it for the last 3 months, or the fact that my partner thought it was a good idea to let it go on for this long without telling me. FML
Today, I found out that my 8-year-old daughter somehow learned how babies are made. Sort of. I found this out when we had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When one teacher asked where she was from, she replied, "My daddy's balls." FML
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Top comments
Smileycloud 14
Be proud she isn't having sex with a real one!
Airman1988 9
Well her imaginary boyfriend better man up and take care of that imaginary baby. God forbid he deny it then you would have to take her on imaginary Maury and get an imaginary DNA test...
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Comments (122)
mendini 25
Just don't let the politicians in on this news, the last thing we need is debates on an imaginary fetus and abortion rights.
_wraith 15
Planned Parenthood really should have a branch for this. Call it... "Planning for the unthinkable; when you're imaginary pregnant." They could have pamphlets, support groups...
djxerxes9000 18
She's 12 and has an imaginary boyfriend? Is she medium level retarded? 12 is a touch old for that shit.
doodlecloud 27
I think it's fair enough. She should've grasped that he's imaginary though and so can't actually affect her like this...
Dynosaur_dollie 38
Just because she has an imaginary friend at 12 doesn't make her ' retarded' on any level. There could be many reasons for this including the possibility of mental illness or coping with stress. I would be taking her to a councilor and find out what's going on. Blurring imaginary and reality would be my concern.
GrinchFu1 27
That's the cutest and saddest thing I've ever heard! Hahaha!!!
perdix 31
You'd better keep an i on him or things could get complex.
laden_swallow09 35
Or he'll be maginary?
perdix 31
#52, no, he'd be the square root of negative one. I hope you are not trying to pass yourself off as a math geek -- a Re one would love this joke.
hayfayday 15
Yay Math Jokes! Haha
GrinchFu1 27
My daughter is almost 12. If I find out she has an imaginary boyfriend I'm gonna kick his imaginary ass. I'm to young to be an imaginary grandfather!!!
XxTaliaxX 16
A least you don't have to worry about her really being pregnant. And if her imaginary boyfriend starts pushing just do to him what my dad did to all mine and throw him out a moving vehicle into the path of an oncoming semi.
interesting33 37
Are you SURE he is imaginary? He might not be? And maybe give her the sex talk again in a way she understands -poor girl sounds very distressed.
roxxyfoxxy3 25
He's a ghost! :O oooooooooOOOO~ -insert creepy ghost noises here-
angelitared 27
12 and still has "imaginary" friends .... Psychiatrist maybe?
MuseFan1991 14
when i was 12 i used to pretend i lived at Hogwarts and Harry, Ron and Hermione were my friends. I used to lie in bed talking to them. kids mature at different ages, don't send her to a shrink just cos she still has imaginary friends. they make life more interesting
LeCielNousAide 7
Anyone else immediately reminded of the Build God, Then We'll Talk music video by Panic! At the Disco?
anyoldnamewilldo 23
It's very disturbing that a 12 year old has an imaginary friend/boyfriend. It would only be beneficial for her to be evaluated by a professional. At her stage of development she should be learning how to form relationships with others and this is not going to allow that. Make a phone call. Soon.
monnanon 14
i wouldnt say therapy is needed just a little understanding and gentle guidence. some of us never interact well with others for various reason and this could be her way of meeting and interaction need in a way that she is comfortable. shes only twelve and still has plenty time to learn.