Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
I'm assuming you stepped in it by accident, but for a moment there I thought he'd pooped in a pair of shoes you left on the porch.
dawnimus 21
Ah that's grim! I'm wondering if you said something that offended him, but that's still no excuse to poop on your porch!
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Comments (63)
kaed 16
Did he have a grudge against you or something OP?
2ru 14
Maybe he was marking his turf.
CarlHyperweevil 8
Maybe he was just leaving something to shine your shoes, and doesn't truly know shit from shinola?
martin8337 36
Did he wipe his ass with blades of grass?
travellingfun 18
He saw an opportunity and he seized it.
travellingfun 18
Most homeless are friendly and willing to help others, I don't know the homeless people you met, but only recently a homeless guy gave this girl his last bit of change so she could catch the bus home, I don't see at all how that's a bad thing.
ErikaAnn 1
Wow, the homeless can be mean sometimes, for instance I have a friend that told me that there was a homeless man asking for money for food by a red light in the street and when he got to her car, her mother gave him some of their warm fast food that they've just bought and when they were driving away, she saw the guy toss it on the ground. I guess you can say that there's just some really despicable people in this world. SMH.
ATLAS369 9
You don't make a homeless man work. You just give him money, Ya know, charity
Sparx1_1 16
Most of these people are homeless for a reason. Even their own families can't get through to them anymore. Letting him rake your yard for a few bucks won't fix anything except your need to feel you've helped. But hey, now you have some fertilizer for your flowers.
juliawolak 8
Its possible a neighbour a cat came and shit on your lawn without any one seeing, happens to me sometimes...