Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
I'm assuming you stepped in it by accident, but for a moment there I thought he'd pooped in a pair of shoes you left on the porch.
dawnimus 21
Ah that's grim! I'm wondering if you said something that offended him, but that's still no excuse to poop on your porch!
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Comments (63)
Dean__Winchester 16
Something had to have went down either through conversation or a past experience for the guy to feel he couldn't ask to use your bathroom. A lot of people are real dicks to homeless people, because everyone assumes they're stupid or lazy and that's why they're homeless in the first place. If a past experience occurred with him then that could explain why he felt uncomfortable to ask to use the bathroom. Still kinda...gross, but I doubt he'd do it out of spite when you were giving him money and even drove him to the bus stop. So I think he didn't feel comfortable asking you due to whatever reason, and now I'm sounding like Dr. Phil - awesome. No but massive kudos to you for helping him out, OP!
The_Podfather 16
Either way, you did a really nice thing.
DaRito 25
Things like that are probably why he's homeless. But OP, you did good by hiring the homeless instead of giving handouts.
LyricaSilvan 30
Oh my word. It's just shit. Wash the shoes off and sack up.