Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
I'm assuming you stepped in it by accident, but for a moment there I thought he'd pooped in a pair of shoes you left on the porch.
dawnimus 21
Ah that's grim! I'm wondering if you said something that offended him, but that's still no excuse to poop on your porch!
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Comments (63)
kingkobrastrikes 13
I'm sorry OP... that sounds like a really shitty situation... that's not funny fellow FML viewers... I'm sorry
jubinsn5 1
if he was homeless then why u drive him to the bus stop ?
Colon_Man 17
Yeah. Good question.
BlindlyWandering 17
Maybe so he could get back to the homeless shelter, or to spend the money she paid him on something.
MrsPegg 45
Unfortunately a handful of beggars and "homeless" people are actually not needy; just greedy. I know the popular news story of the beggars and the sports car, but something similar happened to me. We had a Local homeless guy who always worked the same corner with his skinny dog by a market. My family and I always gave him a dollar or two and bought dog food every time we went to the store. One day in the middle of winter he begged my mother and I for a ride "home." He lived in a gated community and told us he works on the corner when he's not working his 9-5, because people pay him more when he appears "homeless. "To say the least, we told him we never want to see him on that corner again and he's a messed up person. I mean, hustle if that's what you gotta do to survive, but to do it because you want free money is just wrong.
seriouslygrowup 11
Not sure about the rest of the people here but I generally look where I'm walking
tranced_ 45
You could wash your shoes. .
THEEEEO 3
Oh I read this differently to everyone else, I thought "his shit" was just slang for his stuff and that he had stolen OP's shoes and left his own there.
Goblin182 27
That's how I read it also.
albertozeta_fml 9
Maybe this is his way to say thank you.
acommonman 23
you had good intentions, but I wouldn't pay a homeless man to work on my property. perhaps just give him the money next time?
nonsensical 26
personally i think it's a great idea, it just went horribly wrong for poor OP. why give money to someone who is doing absolutely nothing to earn it? give them a job, something to do. it'll give them something to feel proud of their money earned, and it might motivate them to do other things. small steps to get back on track with their lives =) plus this way OP gets his leaves raked. win/win?
acommonman 23
people give money to homeless people all the time, for no other reason than to be generous to the less fortunate.
ChopSuey444 20
Honestly I don't trust that all people asking for handouts on the street are actually homeless. Don't get me wrong, I've given to several people who look genuinely in a struggle, but perhaps asking for a small chore is how OP ensures they give to people who sincerely need it.
khorstmye 15
His way of saying thanks
Colon_Man 17
Fertilizing the lawn after raking - and missed.
SoullessSolace 12
Wow...truly, no good deed goes unpunished.
vikky538 29
I was just hearing a situation of my colleagues rental house property where he has to cleanup almost 50 pounds of dog shit from back yard....you topped that...