Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML
Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML
Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML
Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML
Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML
Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
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Top comments
insanesna1l 0
you have a super power. don't let it go to your thighs..uh I mean head
catkat1988 17
lol, aw, that sounds exactly like something my boyfriend would've said about me. Don't worry, though, he probably meant it in a loving way.
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Comments (101)
norvak1 0
so I'm guessing #41 is a fat pig?! go find Homer and yall can eat donuts full of chocolate lol
5t3ff1k4h 47
1. Not ALL men ridicule and poke fun at a woman's weight. 2. If they do it, most won't do it all the time. I'm not a man, but I'm sure sick and tired of people generalizing.
LoveMySoldier82 0
My husband knows better than to even bring up weight or eating. He is a smart, smart man.
fearfulsymmetry 1
62: it's common knowledge that WOMEN are the biggest critics of other women. Not men. Get off your high horse.
juwood 7
10, you've got a damn nice set of eyes!
bellahhh 0
This made me laugh. :D
starile 20
53-- because that's all you can see!
Tanya33 1
Not the best comparison but i would take it as a compliment that you can find something anywhere because you like it that much.
trumpetGIRL12345 0
wouldn't that mean that your mom is that certain truffle finding animal?
JohnathanY17 0
that's not even a fml.
Doortje 30
Actually, you seem to don't understand this FML at all.
USAF_girl 3
this is such a stupid fml! guess you're just a fatty.
USAF_girl 3
this is such a stupid fml! guess you're a fatty!