Today, I overheard my husband telling my step-dad that I have the same ability to sniff out chocolate in a house as a certain animal has to find truffles in the woods. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband compared me to his parents' dog. Why? Because when I sleep, I fart and scare myself awake. Just like his parents' dog. FML
Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML
Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML
Today, I learned that my husband and I share the same taste in men. FML
Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML
Today, I was holding the ladder while my husband was in the attic, and I let out a silent fart, thinking he wouldn't notice. A minute later, he complained of the dreadful smell and told me he was checking for a dead animal. FML
Today, my husband finally revealed that he's been secretly buying a particular brand of spicy chicken, eating it on his way home from work. He does it because it makes his farts smell just the way he likes it under the duvet when we go to bed. FML
Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML
Today, I found the Christmas candy that I'd hidden a year ago. Turns out I wasn't the only living creature who had found it. FML
Today, my boyfriend leaned over and sniffed me like a dog. He does this almost every day, even in front of people sometimes. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
insanesna1l 0
you have a super power. don't let it go to your thighs..uh I mean head
catkat1988 17
lol, aw, that sounds exactly like something my boyfriend would've said about me. Don't worry, though, he probably meant it in a loving way.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (101)
jordansteinohrt 0
It not insulting unless you're fat. But you're probably fat.
RockMaterial 9
I think he was referring to pigs, but dogs are very capable of doing it as well. There's a certain breed that has an attuned sense to truffles and now pigs are rarely used. So, you could have been referred to as a dog (which in my opinion is much cuter and better than a pig). ;)
godamnitmotagain 16
well then don't eat all the damn chocolate, fatass
Random_Geek 2
This was on the duck dynasty christmas episode
jmeshvrd 13
Totes adorbes
trey600rr 22
like a pig!
chryslexitaylor 11
Do you? If so that is a great power and one many wish to possess