Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend that she's too good for me, then asking if she really wants to settle for someone like me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my dad had a chat with my fiancé, telling him he can do better than me, and to think carefully before going through with our wedding. FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my dad. I thought it was a good idea at the time, at least until he took her aside for a private chat. During the chat, he told her all about my two previous marriages and advised her to "get out while you can". FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML
Today, I was informed, after being broken up with, that my girlfriend's father only set her up with me so that she would have more motivation to shower on a regular basis. He actually yelled at me for being broken up with. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML
Today, my ex-girlfriend was having lunch with my parents. Believing she was in love with me and feeling the same, I dropped by. My parents told me that she’s their friend and that she has a boyfriend that they approve of, all while telling me I was never good enough for her. FML
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML
Today, my dad overheard me and my girlfriend having a very personal conversation. His response was to burst into the room and ground me for a month for failing to get her to orgasm the last 3 times we had sex. FML
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Top comments
rocketgurl 15
Sounds like your dad may be jealous
NakuEh 27
Gotta love dads. Ruining relationships one statement at a time.
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Comments (47)
mishwarner 14
Cut him off the second you can. nothing good is going to come from that relationship. And before anyone attacks me, parents are people, having kids does not change them from their fundamental nature, whatever that is - good or bad
WeezyYaHeard 6
Well that's a "shitty" situation
simply_chan3l 13
Just a friendly reminder that puns as such, aren't meant to be used for every FML...
TristanCamper 11
Be the bigger man about the situation and she will notice it.
sunnyray812 42
That's something to be nipped in the bud. Give him a good lecture on showing respect to his own son and not to interfere with your love life like that. That's disrespectful.
colvindj 22
dude don't let your family ruin your relationship. trust me it'd be the worst mistake you can make.
amileah13 26
Sounds like you have great daddy support. What a jerk
QQMorePlox 18
So much for "we always want what's best for you", what an ass
denden_mushi 11
Another dad joke?
chrisseesyou 11
wow he is a ********
Teyros 24
Well, it's in your control to prove him wrong about being a bad boyfriend. Make him eat his own words OP!