Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few... - FML

By Anonymous - 9/8/2019 16:00

Today, I moved back into my room, which I'd sublet for a few months. The subtenant never paid any rent and is gone, but she did leave me something: my own underwear on the floor, which she apparently liked to wear, but didn't seem to like to wash. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1486

You deserved it

250

Tweet

Share

Headache

Get me away from here, I'm dying

Time for the ER

By faeliality - 15/10/2016 05:54 - United States

Today, I discovered that yes, you CAN forget how to ride a bike. Too bad I discovered this in front of all my son's friends and their parents while at his birthday party. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9925

You deserved it

1391

Tweet

Share

By Username - 27/3/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51776

You deserved it

6307

Tweet

Share

By effyou - 10/2/2011 05:16 - United States

Today, my best friend decided to start dating my ex. We broke up yesterday. She also thinks I'm crazy because I'm upset about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46237

You deserved it

4161

Tweet

Share

By bradyman - 29/12/2010 15:09 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML

I agree, your life sucks

40222

You deserved it

6100

Tweet

Share

By anon - 30/8/2015 18:44 - United States

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24335

You deserved it

1988

Tweet

Share

By annoyed - 24/9/2017 01:30

Today, I received an email from my insurance company about a claim that happened over a month ago when I hit someone from behind. I was very apologetic and stated it was my fault, and now they're trying to claim replacement vehicle costs. I was going under 10mph and their car only had a scratch. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3580

You deserved it

470

Tweet

Share

By Kate - 5/4/2019 22:00 - United States - Exton

Today, my dog showed me her latest kill. Too bad it was the stuffed animals my dead grandmother had given me as a child that had a lot of sentimental value to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2035

You deserved it

374

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 8/9/2012 17:26 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9932

You deserved it

24490

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/8/2019 22:00

Today, my girlfriend threw boiling water at me to get me off my phone. It worked, but now I'm burned. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1800

You deserved it

253

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 22/9/2010 05:38 - United States

Today, my dad gave me a twenty minute lecture about responsibility and how lazy he considers me to be. He then yelled at me for not making his bed and getting his clothes off the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30777

You deserved it

2511

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 4/7/2012 16:40 - Canada - Charlottetown

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48515

You deserved it

3258

Tweet

Share

By Face fucking palm - 23/7/2014 03:36 - United States - Albany

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

40178

You deserved it

13368

Tweet

Share

By pop - 29/12/2009 01:41 - France

Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40788

You deserved it

1987

Tweet

Share

By whyme - 12/4/2017 22:00

Today, I met a wonderful man and agreed to go on a date. Halfway through the date, he started telling about how much he hates his wife. And his four kids. I texted him after I walked out, saying not to call me again. He agreed. His wife didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4314

You deserved it

325

Tweet

Share

By lunarstrain - 8/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48932

You deserved it

8495

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/7/2017 01:33

Today, my prom date and his family came over to take pictures. His dad happens to be my mom's gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4714

You deserved it

384

Tweet

Share

By lilshoobydoo14 - 15/10/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I met a guy that I liked. We really hit it off, that is until his parents walked by and he started begging them, down on his hands and knees, to buy him a new video game. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32296

You deserved it

4308

Tweet

Share

By sweet_02 - 1/6/2009 17:47 - United States

Today, I was talking this guy I'm dating and stated that the only reason I am with him is because of what he buys me. I was joking. He then responded that he doesn't care because the only reason he is with me is because I give good head. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23413

You deserved it

65550

Tweet

Share

By OMGraven - 19/2/2010 08:24 - United States

Today, I returned home to find that my boyfriend's dog had gotten into the garbage and ripped all my used pads to shreds. There's a trail of Always tatters leading to his dog bed, and blood everywhere. My blood. Oh God. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37564

You deserved it

3573

Tweet

Share

By R - 5/9/2016 10:27 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my teacher called a friend and me out of class and told us we had been reported for plagiarism because our answers to a problem were nearly identical, and he said that I shouldn't have shared my work. This for an assignment where significant marks were awarded for collaborating with peers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16759

You deserved it

1407

Tweet

Share

By dad, please - 16/5/2016 05:37 - United States - Wellesley Hills

Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder what'd happen if I just dropped my pants right now and started jerking it in front of all these motherfuckers." FML

I agree, your life sucks

18790

You deserved it

1541

Tweet

Share

By hairy - 25/2/2009 19:15 - United States

Today, I told my boss I was bored of being a cashier and would rather go to food prep. He told me I couldn't because my arms were too hairy. I'm a sixteen year old girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50784

You deserved it

6289

Tweet

Share

By Nickie809 - 17/9/2012 14:59 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22052

You deserved it

1793

Tweet

Share

By wtf babe? - 29/6/2020 14:02

Intruders!

Today, I came home to find my husband allowed several of his family members to move in without even asking me. His parents are in the spare room, his brother and wife are in my den and they expect me to make my daughter share her bed with two older cousins. I’m ready to take the kids and leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2159

You deserved it

118

Tweet

Share

By Sad - 1/3/2009 09:08 - United States

Today, I was typing up a love letter on my computer. A sexual love letter. I was in a classroom, I'm the teacher, I'm gay, and my love letter showed up on the tv screen while my 7th grade students were taking a test. It was up on the screen for 15 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks

80129

You deserved it

309043

Tweet

Share

By whyme - 8/12/2010 06:26

Today, feeling so depressed to the point of having suicidal thoughts, I texted a girl I had a crush on. Her response? "Can you please delete my number, you're getting annoying." FML

I agree, your life sucks

35404

You deserved it

19628

Tweet

Share

By RabbitOwner - 7/1/2011 20:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were playing with my pet rabbit when my boyfriend discovered poop on his lap. As he brushed it off, I reminded him that there are a lot worse things in the world than rabbit poop. Almost as if on cue, my rabbit peed on both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14985

You deserved it

21657

Tweet

Share

By NathanPlays - 23/4/2011 01:39 - United States

Today, a very attractive girl moved in across the road from me. As I was leaving, I noticed she was looking out her window at me. I tried playing it cool, only to end up tripping over my own feet, hands in pocket, and faceplanting the hood of my dad's car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32002

You deserved it

20174

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 14/5/2020 20:02

Johnny Weissmuller over here

Today, I was walking in the woods with the girl I like when I saw a vine overhanging a small creek. Trying to make her laugh, I took off my shirt and started swinging on the vine like Tarzan. The vine snapped and I fell into the creek. Guess who's missing half the skin on his back? FML

I agree, your life sucks

636

You deserved it

2038

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/9/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the beach and we were tanning when I suddenly saw 10 roses floating in the ocean. I went around to pick up all the roses and threw the petals at my friends. Then I notice a big boat of people in black and white were looking at me with disgust. It was a funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18334

You deserved it

53568

Tweet

Share

By svunimportant - 28/5/2015 15:40 - United States - Morehead

Today, my daughter cried for ages after finding out that Nick Amaro was written out of Law and Order: SVU. She barely reacted when I told her that her mom and I are getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27178

You deserved it

3476

Tweet

Share

By holyshitbatman - 9/11/2012 04:53 - United States - Toledo

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26803

You deserved it

2995

Tweet

Share

By jennahh - 10/7/2019 22:00

Today, I had a sexual dream about my ex, and I woke up after saying his name. My boyfriend was awake, and heard all the dirty talk and me moaning my ex-boyfriend's name. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2033

You deserved it

933

Tweet

Share

By BritneyFink - 4/2/2009 21:05 - Canada

Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14269

You deserved it

47538

Tweet

Share

By amberrenee91 - 19/3/2013 03:29 - United States - Ellwood City

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36458

You deserved it

17763

Tweet

Share

By polimeros - 9/5/2012 22:19 - Mexico - Quer?taro

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13551

You deserved it

41582

Tweet

Share

By Shantoya - 17/1/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30767

You deserved it

2927

Tweet

Share

By Jobless - 13/8/2009 01:47 - United States

Today, my 16 yr old cousin needed help making a job resume so I give him mine to see as an example. He changed my name to his and it got him a job right away. The sad part? I handed my resume out to about 30 places and I am still unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44859

You deserved it

4321

Tweet

Share

By pissingcontest - 30/5/2009 00:10 - United States

Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19581

You deserved it

45841

Tweet

Share

By soembarassed - 18/3/2016 18:26 - Vietnam - Ho Chi Minh City

Today, a man kept talking and laughing like an idiot all through the movie I was watching. I thought he was high, so I called him a moron and told him to shut the hell up. It turned out he wasn't high. He was just "special". FML

I agree, your life sucks

18719

You deserved it

11071

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By tenniemo | 19

#7830027 - Friday 9 August 2019 16:04

Why were your clothes left at the apartment anyway? You should have taken all personal possessions with you when you subleased.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7830044 - Friday 9 August 2019 17:37

Don’t you now owe your landlord a shit-ton of money?

The cost of getting your place decontaminated by people in hazmat suits removing your shit-stained panties will be steep, too. FYL, indeed.

COMMENTS

By tenniemo | 19

#7830027 - Friday 9 August 2019 16:04

Why were your clothes left at the apartment anyway? You should have taken all personal possessions with you when you subleased.

By Henry8cooper | 15

#7830035 - Friday 9 August 2019 16:58

Lacking any other upside - you should probably regard it a compliment to your taste in underwear.

By RichardPencil | 28

#7830044 - Friday 9 August 2019 17:37

Don’t you now owe your landlord a shit-ton of money?

The cost of getting your place decontaminated by people in hazmat suits removing your shit-stained panties will be steep, too. FYL, indeed.

By Peaches1914 | 13

#7830327 - Saturday 10 August 2019 18:50

Why was your clothes packed in storage?