Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML
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By
DocBastard
| 38
It took your roommate a whole year to case the joint? She's got to be the worst burglar in the history of the world.
By
TheHarvest
| 7
some friend sorry op..
COMMENTS
By
TheHarvest
| 7
some friend sorry op..
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Wishez
| 12
If the was a good friend, OP must have ways to contact her. She should track her down and get her stuff back.
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Sputnikspak
| 13
Or report her to the police for theft. Especially if she still has receipts proving her recent purchases.
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MisterEx
| 28
Yeah, 50. Totally. Why not also file a law suit then track her down, slit her throat, take her eye balls and use them as earrings before burning the whole house? Why not start a war on some random country as well while she's at it?
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sens3sfailing
| 24
It might be a little early to involve the police. If it was a genuine brain fart mistake and OP's friend gives all the new stuff back right away, getting the police to go talk to your friend for you just waists their time for a childish misunderstanding
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HKCgrimmjow
| 15
56 -__- I'm sorry, grammar really usually doesn't bother me but... It's wastes not waists.
By
Link5794
| 18
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nycwrestler
| 17
Shut up, link
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Random_Red
| 12
Shut... the fuck up.
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mbuck87
| 19
Don't worry man, I get it. Family guy reference
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LightningCactus
| 12
Or Ops author name
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Meesersuperman1
| 4
Why is everyone hating? That was a funny and clever comment. People on FML always thumb down comments I wouldn't expect to be.
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Random_Red
| 12
Not everyone on. FML watches family guy, so most people presume this guy is talking random crap..
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mmaflake
| 19
Yeah shut up Megz
Haha family guy
Haha family guy
By
DocBastard
| 38
It took your roommate a whole year to case the joint? She's got to be the worst burglar in the history of the world.
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Psych101
| 9
I once read a book on that exact topic. Unfortunately, I have to give the prize for the worst burglar in history to one who true to rob a glue factory. He literally got glued to the floor and passed out due the fumes. This is a close second though.
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Psych101
| 9
I once read a book on this exact topic. Unfortunately, I have to give the prize of being the world's worst burglar to someone who tried to rob a glue factory. He literally got glued to the floor and passes out due to the fumes. This is a close second though.
Edit: Sorry, iPod messed up and I thought my first comment was lost.
Edit: Sorry, iPod messed up and I thought my first comment was lost.
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Catkam623
| 27
I think the prize for the dumbest burglar isn't the one who tried to steal glue it's to the genius who robbed a gun store with a knife while they were open. Shot 132 times
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Psych101
| 9
33- You're making me think of some more good ones.
There was one who entered a store and announced he was he going to rob it in two hours. He left and, sure enough, showed back up two hours later, where the police immediately arrested him. I do not know what he was expecting.
I have more if anybody wants them.
There was one who entered a store and announced he was he going to rob it in two hours. He left and, sure enough, showed back up two hours later, where the police immediately arrested him. I do not know what he was expecting.
I have more if anybody wants them.
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zandalee
| 19
Please go for it! Loving the giggle.
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LiterOfCola
| 16
I once read a book on the stupidest criminal cases.
There was a guy that broke into a house and held the people inside at gunpoint demanding a glass of milk. They called the cops after the guy left and the cops found the guy nearby. He denied it, but he had a milk mustache.
There once was a guy who planned to rob a store that his dad cashiered at. He put on a ski mask and came in pointing a gun at his dad. He yelled "Put the money in the bag, dad!" on accident and was caught.
There was a guy that broke into a house and held the people inside at gunpoint demanding a glass of milk. They called the cops after the guy left and the cops found the guy nearby. He denied it, but he had a milk mustache.
There once was a guy who planned to rob a store that his dad cashiered at. He put on a ski mask and came in pointing a gun at his dad. He yelled "Put the money in the bag, dad!" on accident and was caught.
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Psych101
| 9
44- I think we read the same book. Do you remember this one?
There were a few criminals who managed to break out of prison. Unfortunately, they did it on the coldest night of the past few decades in that area. Eventually, they gave up because of the cold and decide to turn themselves in. They kept on going to houses and asking people to call the police, but people just kept on shutting the door in their face. Finally, one person decided to call the police and present them from freezing to death.
There were a few criminals who managed to break out of prison. Unfortunately, they did it on the coldest night of the past few decades in that area. Eventually, they gave up because of the cold and decide to turn themselves in. They kept on going to houses and asking people to call the police, but people just kept on shutting the door in their face. Finally, one person decided to call the police and present them from freezing to death.
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LiterOfCola
| 16
It probably was dude haha I read it in 4th grade and only remember those two I listed though
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Zomg_Okay
| 26
I saw a TV show on the subject. An armed gunman tried to rob a bank. One of the tellers hit an emergency button and a protective metal cover came down, in between the robber and the tellers. His plan having failed, the robber tried to leave and found he couldn't. After trying to open the door for five minutes, he eventually had to shoulder-charge and kick his way through it to escape.
The whole time, he'd been pushing a pull door. :D
What's the name of that book, guys? I'd love to read it.
The whole time, he'd been pushing a pull door. :D
What's the name of that book, guys? I'd love to read it.
Reply
fortunelady
| 15
This comment thread is the best thing I've seen on FML. :D
You guys might like The Sacred Art Of Stealing by Christopher Brookmyre; fiction, but a lot of it depicts an incredibly weird and absurd bank robbery where the robbers hold people ransom inside the bank, but simultaneously entertain them by performing sections of plays for them and playing little games with them. One of my favourite novels.
That said, I want to read this book you're talking about, these stories are brilliant.
You guys might like The Sacred Art Of Stealing by Christopher Brookmyre; fiction, but a lot of it depicts an incredibly weird and absurd bank robbery where the robbers hold people ransom inside the bank, but simultaneously entertain them by performing sections of plays for them and playing little games with them. One of my favourite novels.
That said, I want to read this book you're talking about, these stories are brilliant.
By
1215116a
| 14
Did she know you bought it to replace the contents? Even if she didn't that's pretty dumb of her to do. Not everyone was moving out. Call her and see why she would do that, it seems really stupid on her part. Especially since you used YOUR money for it.
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1215116a
| 14
Oops, that first "it" should be a "those".
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shmoelover
| 13
Plus I doubt she needed double of everything.
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asb818
| 14
Maybe she had other people helping her pack and she didn't realise they packed stuff that wasn't hers. I'm sure when you call her she'll find the extra stuff and be really embarrassed and the friendship will still be intact.
By
txgirl2013
| 14
Sue her ass!
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DocBastard
| 38
Yes, suing her is a MUCH better idea than, say, calling her and asking for her stuff back.
Fucking brilliant.
Fucking brilliant.
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Psych101
| 9
11- But... This is America. If problems can't be solved by physical force, then the only option left is to sue. Right?! That's what I've been taught!
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Wishez
| 12
Typical Americans... Something goes wrong, and the immediate assumption is that a lawsuit is in order. The first step you take shouldn't be that drastic.
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happle
| 21
30- Fuck you, you live in the US too. You should know by now not to make generalizations about such a large group.
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Ellenpop
| 15
Judge Judy would not like this.
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Ellenpop
| 15
Whoops, didn't see 23.
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Wishez
| 12
43- I said typical, not all. My aunt is a lawyer, and I have heard my share of stupid lawsuit stories. Although I do see what you are saying about my generalization, it is sadly true.
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superpoptart
| 24
So you're basing your "fact" on your aunt who is a lawyer? She must be the only lawyer in America then who takes care of ALL the cases.
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happle
| 21
59- You know, there ARE legitimate cases out there. My mom was fired for asking to take maternity leave when she was carrying my brother. She sued them and got her money. Perfectly legit.
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Wishez
| 12
You guys really need to read comments better. 62- never did I ever say it was a fact, nor did I say my aunt takes care of all the cases in America.
69- I fail to believe I said that there were no legitimate cases. You're argument is invalid.
69- I fail to believe I said that there were no legitimate cases. You're argument is invalid.
By
MsConfusedd
| 27
You can live off water and stale cream cheese! Think of it as an adventure
By
xoxolifesucks
| 8
Ask her to move back in, take yo shit back and kick her out again. Some friend you got there.
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Disobey_fml
| 13
you think she'll just move back when op say so, especially when she have stolen op's stuff.
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shmoelover
| 13
Seems like the more complicated route to take...
By
justjimmy89
| 5
sounds familiar, we may have had the same roommate at some point
By
Kalipczo
| 21
There's always going to people who re like that. Be careful about who you trust.
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Wishez
| 12
OP's roommate was a friend if several years. Of course OP was going to trust her.
By
mybluedream
| 8
That douchecanoe. Sorry OP