By Megz - 02/01/2013 17:38 - United States - Cedar Rapids
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It took your roommate a whole year to case the joint? She's got to be the worst burglar in the history of the world.
I once read a book on this exact topic. Unfortunately, I have to give the prize of being the world's worst burglar to someone who tried to rob a glue factory. He literally got glued to the floor and passes out due to the fumes. This is a close second though. Edit: Sorry, iPod messed up and I thought my first comment was lost.
33- You're making me think of some more good ones. There was one who entered a store and announced he was he going to rob it in two hours. He left and, sure enough, showed back up two hours later, where the police immediately arrested him. I do not know what he was expecting. I have more if anybody wants them.
I once read a book on the stupidest criminal cases. There was a guy that broke into a house and held the people inside at gunpoint demanding a glass of milk. They called the cops after the guy left and the cops found the guy nearby. He denied it, but he had a milk mustache. There once was a guy who planned to rob a store that his dad cashiered at. He put on a ski mask and came in pointing a gun at his dad. He yelled "Put the money in the bag, dad!" on accident and was caught.
44- I think we read the same book. Do you remember this one? There were a few criminals who managed to break out of prison. Unfortunately, they did it on the coldest night of the past few decades in that area. Eventually, they gave up because of the cold and decide to turn themselves in. They kept on going to houses and asking people to call the police, but people just kept on shutting the door in their face. Finally, one person decided to call the police and present them from freezing to death.
I saw a TV show on the subject. An armed gunman tried to rob a bank. One of the tellers hit an emergency button and a protective metal cover came down, in between the robber and the tellers. His plan having failed, the robber tried to leave and found he couldn't. After trying to open the door for five minutes, he eventually had to shoulder-charge and kick his way through it to escape. The whole time, he'd been pushing a pull door. :D What's the name of that book, guys? I'd love to read it.
This comment thread is the best thing I've seen on FML. :D You guys might like The Sacred Art Of Stealing by Christopher Brookmyre; fiction, but a lot of it depicts an incredibly weird and absurd bank robbery where the robbers hold people ransom inside the bank, but simultaneously entertain them by performing sections of plays for them and playing little games with them. One of my favourite novels. That said, I want to read this book you're talking about, these stories are brilliant.
Did she know you bought it to replace the contents? Even if she didn't that's pretty dumb of her to do. Not everyone was moving out. Call her and see why she would do that, it seems really stupid on her part. Especially since you used YOUR money for it.
Ask her to move back in, take yo shit back and kick her out again. Some friend you got there.