Holidays: Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security....

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 265

You deserved it 11 619

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Same thing different taste

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 571

You deserved it 49 759

By tampondealer - 09/11/2009 18:42 - Canada

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 131

You deserved it 2 789

By tal - 22/08/2012 09:57 - France

Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 335

You deserved it 3 849

By search_me - 16/07/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 966

You deserved it 3 310

By GothicbunnyxC - 28/01/2012 23:31 - Canada

Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 661

You deserved it 35 432

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 349

You deserved it 6 372

Never joke with TSA

By missy - 16/06/2011 02:42 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 016

You deserved it 10 102

By kclopez - 19/08/2017 23:15

Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 363

You deserved it 4 817

By muffintop - 11/07/2011 02:34 - Canada

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 177

You deserved it 13 565

By Anonymous - 17/07/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, the airport security guard told me to lift my fat rolls so he could finish patting me down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 652

You deserved it 47 202

dino_witha_cape 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:01

yeah, if you bite into those things they could squirt someone's eye out

Jcsati8 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:05

If you pack baby carrots, will they think you are carrying ammo? Damn airport security!

Comments

noclevername 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:32

Ugh, American security. While I know I should care most about having to buy overpriced water on the other side of security, mostly I miss being able to knit on planes. Sure, i could stab someone with needles, but I could do as much damage with a pen.

xxjohnx5 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:32

haha when i was readinging it, i thought the small spherical things was anal beads. that wouldve been funnier but yea u shouldnt bring food on the plane for the same reasons everyone else said

PTERONOPHOBIA 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:38

I've had it with these motherfucking grapes on this motherfucking plane.

white_mouse 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:38

LOLLLLLL @36

bananamanama 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:39

HAHA WTF. Ohhh man. FYL.

McCannCanTriple 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:39

I'd hope they have some free food if they don't allow you to bring any at all. Nothing big really, but sonething like a muffin, or a cup of water. Likely though everything is over priced as shit. I don't even think the bags of peanuts are free.

awkwardness 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:41

roflmao @ #10, but the security wasn't so great either. Airport security are really paranoid, so it may be absurd, but you have to avoid these incidents anyhow.

JennyyBennyy 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:42

ahahaahha this is possibly the funniest FML i've ever read

bad_times 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:47

why is this an fml at all?

wearinsexypants 0

Sunday 10 May 2009 20:49

You're usually allowed to bring food, and they're changing the liquid restrictions soon anyway... But seriously, I've been stopped and searched by security several times and never missed a flight, even the times I was cutting it pretty close. My favorite time was when they searched my bag because of a chocolate Easter bunny. Not kidding, apparently the chocolate and foil showed up really weird on the xray. I totally look suspicious too, a blonde college girl... Anyway, either you have really bad luck or showed up too late. Oh well.