Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML
Today, I borrowed a friend's suitcase for a trip. At the airport, security pulled me aside because there was a small metal object inside. I opened the suitcase expecting something suspicious and found a potato peeler. My friend had used the suitcase for groceries the week before. FML
Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML
Today, I was going through airport security. Trying to get things over and done with quickly, I dropped my pants without a second thought. Turns out they just wanted me to remove my shoes and belt. FML
Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML
Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML
Today, while going through customs at the airport, my bag was selected for screening. It was nearly overflowing because it was so full, so before the TSA agent searched it, I said, "Watch out - it's going to explode when you open it". Wrong choice of words. FML
Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML
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Top comments
dino_witha_cape 0
yeah, if you bite into those things they could squirt someone's eye out
Jcsati8 0
If you pack baby carrots, will they think you are carrying ammo? Damn airport security!
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Comments (203)
noclevername 0
Ugh, American security. While I know I should care most about having to buy overpriced water on the other side of security, mostly I miss being able to knit on planes. Sure, i could stab someone with needles, but I could do as much damage with a pen.
xxjohnx5 0
haha when i was readinging it, i thought the small spherical things was anal beads. that wouldve been funnier but yea u shouldnt bring food on the plane for the same reasons everyone else said
PTERONOPHOBIA 0
I've had it with these motherfucking grapes on this motherfucking plane.
white_mouse 0
LOLLLLLL @36
bananamanama 0
HAHA WTF. Ohhh man. FYL.
McCannCanTriple 0
I'd hope they have some free food if they don't allow you to bring any at all. Nothing big really, but sonething like a muffin, or a cup of water. Likely though everything is over priced as shit. I don't even think the bags of peanuts are free.
awkwardness 0
roflmao @ #10, but the security wasn't so great either. Airport security are really paranoid, so it may be absurd, but you have to avoid these incidents anyhow.
JennyyBennyy 0
ahahaahha this is possibly the funniest FML i've ever read
bad_times 0
why is this an fml at all?
wearinsexypants 0
You're usually allowed to bring food, and they're changing the liquid restrictions soon anyway... But seriously, I've been stopped and searched by security several times and never missed a flight, even the times I was cutting it pretty close. My favorite time was when they searched my bag because of a chocolate Easter bunny. Not kidding, apparently the chocolate and foil showed up really weird on the xray. I totally look suspicious too, a blonde college girl... Anyway, either you have really bad luck or showed up too late. Oh well.