Geek: Paparazzi

Paparazzi

By iStoleTheBrownie - 25/08/2017 01:32

Today, my friend asked me to send her a picture of my crush. I've never talked to him so I had to take the picture without him knowing. My flash was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 542

You deserved it 3 887

Geek

Management

I've just got one of those faces

Gruesome

By beno - 07/01/2009 15:25 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 320

You deserved it 6 050

By Not That Old - 28/07/2011 04:22 - United States

Today, I went to El Pollo Loco for the $10.00 special. I ordered from the pimple-faced kid at the register, pulled out two fives, and he said, "That'll be 9.70, I gave you the senior discount." I'm 10 years away from that. Thank you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 036

You deserved it 6 666

Nice pic

By Anonymous - 17/01/2020 05:00

Today, for the first time in my life, I sent a member pic to a girl I had been talking to for a few days on Snapchat. (she had asked me for it). She saw the pic, and blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 804

You deserved it 929

Mix up

By luckygirl - 06/06/2019 12:09

Today, I have a bad cold, so I've been carrying tissues around with me. I noticed our puppy had pooped on the floor, so I grabbed a napkin and cleaned it up, then threw it away. I then blew my nose with my tissue. Apparently, I threw away my tissue and used the napkin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 638

You deserved it 568

By Anonymous - 13/10/2018 11:30 - United States - Bronx

Today, my cat peed on my long-term project so I had to stay up until 4 am doing the whole thing again... just for it to fall in the train tracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 198

You deserved it 277

By ~Mr.Void - 09/10/2010 03:12 - United States

Today, my friends and I got front stage tickets to our favorite band. Being my first concert, we planned to start a small mosh pit in the back. I got knocked out by my bestfriends elbow and was rushed to the hospital, during the first song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 734

You deserved it 30 210

By wickedbeauty333 - 26/09/2012 22:54 - United States - Katy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he came. This was a good thing, except when he did he started bellowing the Imperial March theme from Star Wars. When I asked him about it, all he said was, "I thought you'd like it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 458

You deserved it 4 177

By Anonymous - 22/09/2011 16:33 - United States

Today, my class was assigned lockers. Out of all the lockers in the entire school, mine is the only one to still have graffiti on it from last year. The tagger's choice of words? "Poop face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 172

You deserved it 3 002

By random person - 13/11/2011 06:16 - United States

Today, I sent the texts "I love and miss you babe;)." and "Shit wrong person." to my ex just so he would think I have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 487

You deserved it 62 222

By lalala - 18/07/2010 04:02 - Philippines

Today, my best friend told me I lost weight. I was happy because I've worked hard to shed off those pounds. I asked her what changes were evident, she told me that I now have a neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 018

You deserved it 9 969

By kiddo - 28/01/2009 15:42 - United States

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 002

You deserved it 2 081

Embezzlement

By Username - 06/01/2011 07:49

Today, I found the birthday card my grandma had mailed. Apparently, it contained a gift of $100. Too bad it was in my mom's trash can, opened, with no money. She told my grandma it must have gotten lost in the mail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 525

You deserved it 2 458

By OverIt - 25/02/2014 22:24 - United States - Winchester

Today, I talked to my husband about his lack of interest in sex. Apparently his definition is polar to mine; his is along the lines of cuddling. Not only did I wait until marriage to have sex with this man, apparently he prefers a permanent roommate without benefits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 587

You deserved it 11 130

By Mr.Hoof-In-Mouth - 13/08/2017 13:00

Today, I was talking to a customer needing IT help. I make small talk about how my birthday is on the same day the Boy Scouts were formed, and I tell the customer I am sure something interesting happened on his birthday. He gets quiet, then gives his birthday. September11th. Cue the long silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 204

You deserved it 730

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 06:06

Today, I was unable to go on my dream vacation because I thought I'd lost my passport. Feeling incredibly stupid, I had no choice but to watch my plane depart without me. Shortly after, my brother handed me passport, saying that since I wasn't going on my trip, I could use my refund to pay for his cat's surgery. My trip was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 670

You deserved it 177

Alexa, play "Charmless Man" by Blur

By Scaredafffff - 12/05/2021 14:03

Today, I accidentally changed the radio station in my boyfriend’s car. He threw a humongous fit and started driving recklessly, almost causing an accident on several occasions. He then dropped me off at a stop sign and told me to, "walk home, you need to lose weight anyway, fat bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 444

You deserved it 169

By hot_friend - 19/12/2013 06:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he was in love with my best friend instead of me. I wouldn't be so upset if it wasn't the third boyfriend in a row this happened with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 887

You deserved it 4 865

By adopted apparently - 23/03/2019 12:00

Today, I found out the joke I’ve been telling for 15 years is true. I am adopted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 269

You deserved it 344

By Spawn_of_Satan - 27/03/2009 15:18 - Hong Kong

Today, whilst my parents and I were out, my older brother thought it would be funny to play porn on my computer. At full volume. With my window wide open. Now my next-door neighbors tell their kids I'm a spawn of Satan, and the weird guy from across the street winks at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 042

You deserved it 7 407

By nicetomeetyou2 - 25/09/2013 16:35 - Canada - Nepean

Today, a drunk man walked into my house at 2pm, screaming out, "Honey, I'm home!" He had the wrong house, but it looks like I've finally met my new neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 642

You deserved it 3 493

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 08:39 - Australia

Today, I laughed about a fold in my girlfriend's jeans that felt like she had a tiny boner. She started crying. Turns out she has a slight deformity. Oops. Explains why we've been taking it so slow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 932

You deserved it 7 900

By Aether - 03/06/2014 22:51 - United States - Lake Jackson

Today, I got to explain to someone that "enjoying the warm, rich aromas of fecal matter" is not a good subject to use as an ice breaker for making friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 498

You deserved it 4 743

By bummed - 15/04/2012 07:03 - United States - Cresson

Today, after years of waiting, I finally got to meet the band whose music got me through one of the hardest times I have ever experienced. When I turned down the lead singer for sex, they told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 132

You deserved it 13 642

By just_a_bit_akwRd - 04/08/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I was putting on my new pair of jeans, when my girlfriend walked in. She found the "XS" size sticker on the side of my pants, held it for a little while then put it on my crotch. She then looked at me, gave a little shrug and half-smile and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 614

You deserved it 7 792

Hiding from the drama

By Tiff8any - 14/07/2021 21:59

Today, my boyfriend asked me to untag him in our vacation photos together. Last month, he hid his relationship status and hid every trace of me. He says it’s because he doesn’t want any "social media drama" and people knowing about his "personal life." We’ve been together for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 425

You deserved it 204

By sadsadteacher - 05/12/2016 21:42 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I had to tell some of my students to stop eating glue. I teach high school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 404

You deserved it 665

By Anonymous - 29/03/2018 19:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was checking my phone while using the toilet. In a distressing moment of my brain mixing up the signals to my hands, I dropped my phone into the bowl and pressed my thumb into the shitty paper to turn it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 595

You deserved it 3 647

By Michelle - 28/08/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 684

You deserved it 17 428

By the girl next door - 07/05/2013 05:10 - United States - Maryland Heights

Today, I was in a bathroom stall and I accidentally dropped my new tampon on the ground. Just as I was about to reach for it, I heard a voice on the other side of the stall say, "Oh great, I needed that" and then a hand reached under my stall and grabbed it. It was my last one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 731

You deserved it 5 058

By newbornphotog - 03/05/2016 13:20 - Germany - Berchtesgaden

Today, I finally realized I've spent the last 6 years building a business I hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 735

You deserved it 2 100

By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 07:09 - United States - Owensboro

Today, I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her for the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 722

You deserved it 5 563

By ladylarni - 07/04/2013 08:20 - Australia

Today, my ex-husband officially became my stepdad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 897

You deserved it 4 840

By Anonymous - 10/12/2009 17:35 - United States

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 910

You deserved it 29 887

By Anonymous - 08/07/2012 21:03 - United States - Marinette

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 549

You deserved it 7 499

By aqua88 - 05/11/2009 15:26 - Malaysia

Today, I found out that our water tank has had a dead crow rotting in it for days. I took showers and brushed my teeth with dead crow soup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 980

You deserved it 3 271

By proteinboy - 16/11/2009 03:00 - United States

Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 684

You deserved it 30 355

By Like mother like daughter - 24/02/2015 22:25 - United States - Aurora

Today, I had a talk with my daughter about how I hope her first boyfriend is a special one because 'spending the night' with a boy is a big deal. She replied with a giggle, "Mom, I lost my virginity in a parking lot three years ago!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 387

You deserved it 9 411

By mommyfairy - 12/03/2011 08:34 - United States

Today, I realized that my boss is able to read all the emails my coworker and I send each other. Most of them are about how she is such a shitty boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 124

You deserved it 43 147

By fuckingbeliebers - 04/08/2012 17:15 - United States - Gorham

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 976

You deserved it 3 488

By Anonymous - 03/07/2013 20:56 - United States - Arlington

Today, I returned home from an extended vacation only to find out my cousin wasn't kidding when he said he was going to steal my boyfriend. I thought I was dating a straight guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 262

You deserved it 3 593

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Top comments

inappropes 31

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Friday 25 August 2017 2:57

Ah that time in life when looks were everything and personality didn't matter for shit. aka high school. or you are a very immature person.

GhostFox 33

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Wednesday 16 August 2017 19:39

Right, do you realize how fucked up that is? You wouldn't even think about doing that to a girl, so why the fuck did you think it would be okay to do it to him? How would you feel if someone took photos of you without you knowing? You'd probably feel very intruded on, so why wouldn't he feel the same way? I hope you got in trouble, because that's fucked up. People like you are why I have an aversion to getting my picture taken, and encourage sneak photography.

GhostFox 33

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Wednesday 16 August 2017 19:39

gobiteme2 34

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Friday 25 August 2017 7:32

Ghost Fox. I read you're profile and I can see where you are coming from. But in the U.S. it is not illegal to take a picture of someone in a public place no matter what you feel. FML did not specify if they were public or private area.

tj4234 35

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Friday 25 August 2017 18:55

It's not illegal in lots of countries. It's kind of a grey area when you press charges against someone for doing it because it's not the act of photography that's illegal, it's what the picture is of (or used for).

Isa_fml 20

Tuesday 29 August 2017 0:50

No one said it was illegal. It's still creepy as hell.

RichardPencil 30

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Friday 25 August 2017 2:15

Ah, so you’re a flasher?!?! Interesting...

lccc_ 18

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Friday 25 August 2017 2:56

"Ive never talked to him" ???

inappropes 31

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Friday 25 August 2017 2:57

Ah that time in life when looks were everything and personality didn't matter for shit. aka high school. or you are a very immature person.

Glowworm56 25

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Friday 25 August 2017 3:03

You should know better than to go around flashing people you don't know very well!

raven_of_azarath 34

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Friday 25 August 2017 4:30

It's called stalking them on Facebook for a picture. Saves you in the long run cuz there's no chance they'll find out.

myusofwe 15

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Friday 25 August 2017 6:26

Why do people still think it's acceptable to take pictures of people like that? It's creepy.

Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20

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Friday 25 August 2017 7:06

"Hey dude, can I take a ohoto of you?" "Uhh... Sure, why not..."

DumbAndYoung 30

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Friday 25 August 2017 9:40

Yeah... don't take sneak pictures of people. It's creepy.

Lalala579121 27

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Friday 25 August 2017 11:57

While the picture taking is really creepy, I'm more hung up on the fact that you have a crush on someone you've never spoken to. Are you really that shallow that you can be into someone by their looks alone?