Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
Today, my mom taught my boyfriend of 2 weeks how to put on a condom. FML
Today, I found out what it's like to have your boyfriend's mom find your hidden stash of condoms in your car, then spend the next two hours shopping with her. Alone. FML
Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the dark condoms. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's family. Her mother wants us to stay in separate bedrooms, and I was happy to oblige since I'm staying at their house. But because there isn't an extra room, we have to stay together. Upon entering the house, her mom searched our bags for condoms and birth-control pills. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "Son, I want you to suck upon my nipples of knowledge." FML
Today, I met my new girlfriend's teenage son for the first time. His first words were, "So you're the guy who has been banging my mom." The rest of the evening he kept asking what we have done and if his mom was good at it. She thought it was awfully funny to hear me tell her son how she was in bed. FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
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Top comments
thongs4lyfe 0
omfg!!!!! I've used glow in the dark condoms before!!!!! sooooo much fun to watch go in and out! and to play wit, it's like a lite saber!!!!!!
yoshi359 0
turn the lights off!!!
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Comments (177)
malincake 7
Hahah! What an awesome mom!!
G6chick 0
Awesome
iloveantonino 0
ummmm ur shouldn't put condoms in a freezer
ShadowBitch99 2
Why FML? That's a good thing!! XD But really, it is.
eaze_ya_miind 1
gosh, some of you people are dumb. she didnt have the condoms IN the freezer, she had them in a freezer BAG. you know, a zip-lock. & how is the mom eager for grandkids? she's giving them CONDOMS for crying out loud! she's say "if you're going to have sex, be SAFE" get a brain and some common sense.
bagleface 6
Best mum ever
luvscomplic8ed 6
XD omfg I can't stop laughing! She sounds like an amazing mom
ohiostate6588 1
my boyfriends dad walked in on us cuddling on my boyfriend's bed. It was the first time I'd ever met him.
Corrupt_waffles 13
It could be way worse. He could have a **** block dog and a little sister that has learned how to open doors. XD just laugh and go along with it.
Syddals_227 1
How does that suck ?!