Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Same thing different taste
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Let people believe
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Mad beliefs
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Praise the lord
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
How not to make friends and influence people
Today, while I was hanging out with friends, a new girl joined us. One of my friends asked how therapy was going, as I’ve been working through childhood trauma for years. New girl launched into an angry rant about therapy and psychology. Turns out she’s a die-hard/staunch Scientologist. She wanted me to join her church. FML
Get better friends
Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Sounds like a keeper
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Pretty sure the comments are going to be stopped pretty soon. If not, all hail a religion war.
22cute 17
Actually, that theory makes MORE sense from a biological standpoint than virgin birth.
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Comments (179)
Kuroneko91 3
Well, this is weird. People are becoming more and more... stupid? xD But if your friend believes in that creepy thing, you should respect it :)
xLoLa_fml 6
Who talks about stuff like that with someone they just met? Whenever I meet someone, it's always that awkward small talk like "So where are you from? What's your favorite color?"
fmlswag 11
That guy seems crazy af but a joy to be around :)
Zangetsu67 5
HE'S ON TO US... GET HIM
madmaddie45 0
that's not what happened. if you bothered to open your mind up, maybe he wouldn't sound do crazy. that theory is based off of actual research scientists have done, and I fully support it. I'm not trying to call anyone out, and you're entitled to believe in whatever you want, but I just don't see how most of the stuff they talk about in the bible or most religions at all can be rationally explained.
Adam908 0
I believe that rabbits started humanity
THExistentialist 13
in wiki's words, (from the page on Existentialism): "The theme of authentic existence is common to many existentialist thinkers. It is often taken to mean that one has to "find oneself" and then live in accordance with this self. What is meant by authenticity is that in acting, one should act as oneself, not as One acts or as one's genes or any other essence require. The authentic act is one that is in accordance with one's freedom. Of course, as a condition of freedom is facticity, this includes one's facticity, but not to the degree that this facticity can in any way determine one's choices (in the sense that one could then blame one's background for making the choice one made). The role of facticity in relation to authenticity involves letting one's actual values come into play when one makes a choice (instead of, like Kierkegaard's Aesthete, "choosing" randomly), so that one also takes responsibility for the act instead of choosing either-or without allowing the options to have different values." V and THIS V "In contrast to this, the inauthentic is the denial to live in accordance with one's freedom. This can take many forms, from pretending choices are meaningless or random, through convincing oneself that some form of determinism is true, to a sort of "mimicry" where one acts as "One should." How "One" should act is often determined by an image one has of how one such as oneself (say, a bank manager, lion tamer, prostitute, etc.) acts. This image usually corresponds to some sort of social norm, but this does not mean that all acting in accordance with social norms is inauthentic: The main point is the attitude one takes to one's own freedom and responsibility, and the extent to which one acts in accordance with this freedom."
bluebob13 10
You know most people would probably be to lazy to read this... or maybe that's just me. Thanks for the info though
lynz90 2
Have you ever watched it?! I thought it was ridiculous at first, but there is so much proof it's impossible to deny it. So don't judge until you have all the facts and can form a rational and scientific opinion! But my guess is you make decisions based on beliefs and what you've been told rather than facts and proof...
FatTony2010 4
All holy books are a bunch of shit. They start wars and end lives when they are supposed to teach forgiveness and understanding!
MissHayleyJames 7
It's not the books that start wars and end lives. It's the people being idiots about it. I read the Bible and learn so many good things (and so many stupid things since, after all, it was written by man) and I don't go around starting wars or killing people. It's about the basic beliefs and the morals and being a good person. Other stuff you just take with a grain of salt.
riojas8864 0
He must have seen Splice.