Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, while I was hanging out with friends, a new girl joined us. One of my friends asked how therapy was going, as I’ve been working through childhood trauma for years. New girl launched into an angry rant about therapy and psychology. Turns out she’s a die-hard/staunch Scientologist. She wanted me to join her church. FML
Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Pretty sure the comments are going to be stopped pretty soon. If not, all hail a religion war.
22cute 17
Actually, that theory makes MORE sense from a biological standpoint than virgin birth.
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Comments (179)
idntwannaknow 3
Still not as weird as Scientology.
xpheonix57 7
And that's weird because...? Honestly, if you grew up learning that instead of the bible, you'd probably think most Christians were ridiculous.
Dr_Frost 2
Aint Da Truth!
InflamesNick 1
He's talking about the Annunaki, and there is evidence according to the summerians that the annunaki did infact come down to earth, were stunned by the female human's beauty, and mated with them.
Shrike 24
You mean David Icke wrote about that shit based on the work of Zechariah Sitchin, a guy who had no proper training in anything Sumerian, much less any real evidence. And you think they would've been biologically compatible too? Jeez, stop believing everything you hear from these nutjobs and get an education.
apple1 0
Those are the people who make life funny
MeowsLikaLion 4
that's not at all what the theory is. maybe you should actually watch the show and listen to what they have to say before dismissing it as crazy.
nattyrey 4
I think I like this version better, anyhow. Sans rape, of course. Alien Jesus did have the whole "water into wine" trick going for him now. The ladies love that one! I prefer to think he wooed the women with wine and a kick ass laser show.
emmy462 3
I actually know someone who thinks that is a possibility. He is still one of my best friends though. I am a Christian, but not your "typical" Christian. I don't shove my religion down other peoples throats, but instead share what I believe and what is true for me, and love people regardless if they agree. Afterall, isn't that what Jesus would want us to do? Love each other, not judge? Makes a lot more sense to me.
emmy462 3
I actually have a friend who thinks that theory is possible. And we're still friends...I am a Christian, so I obviously believe something totally different. But I don't judge other people for believing something different than me. Most Christians have seemed to get it all wrong in my opinion. They shouldn't shove their views and beliefs down the throats of others. That's not going to get anyone to believe. Instead we should love and accept each other. That's what God does for us each day, so who are we to judge others? It's not our place.
emmy462 3
I actually have a friend who thinks that theory is possible. And we're still friends...I am a Christian, so I obviously believe something totally different. But I don't judge other people for believing something different than me. Most Christians have seemed to get it all wrong in my opinion. They shouldn't shove their views and beliefs down the throats of others. That's not going to get anyone to believe. Instead we should love and accept each other. That's what God does for us each day, so who are we to judge others? It's not our place.