Today, I made a new friend. He seemed pretty cool, until we came to the topic of religion and the ancient alien theory. I'm seemingly now friends with a guy who thinks alien Jesus raped an Earth woman, and we're the resulting cross-breed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I met a cute guy for coffee. Everything was going fine, right up until he started telling me about his alien encounters and super psychic powers. FML
Today, I told a friend I had become more religious lately. He immediately started mocking me for being a "stupid creationist bigot." When I told him how offensive that was, he acted bewildered and started condescendingly lecturing me about how "science has proven God does not exist." FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've fallen in love with is a "young-earth/dinosaurs-lived-with-humans" crackpot. FML
Today, I took my friend to the E.R. for an eye infection. While waiting, I proclaimed, "Why, Jesus?!" jokingly. Well, the gigantic biker sitting next to me, who had found religion in prison and is a born again Christian, was not pleased. He spent the next four hours trying to convert me. FML
Today, while I was hanging out with friends, a new girl joined us. One of my friends asked how therapy was going, as I’ve been working through childhood trauma for years. New girl launched into an angry rant about therapy and psychology. Turns out she’s a die-hard/staunch Scientologist. She wanted me to join her church. FML
Today, I introduced my two crazy friends who are both into QAnon to each other. It went so poorly that now they fight online over who has better facts, and they both complain to me about the other. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, I met my new college room-mate. He then introduced me to his imaginary friend. FML
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML
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Top comments
marinus_fml 20
Pretty sure the comments are going to be stopped pretty soon. If not, all hail a religion war.
22cute 17
Actually, that theory makes MORE sense from a biological standpoint than virgin birth.
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Comments (179)
Ugi 27
Seems pretty much as good a basis for a religion as any.
brianjman14 23
Can you say "BFF 4 LIFE!!!"
PlaidPanda 9
"but can you prove that aliens weren't here for the first thanksgiving?!"
immaMonsta 8
This is why the topic of religion should be avoided; if the two people involved aren't mature enough and don't think logically enough, then it'll end in an argument. In this case your new friend is just nuts...but hey, at least you didn't argue.
xcheshirecat 11
not crazier than any other religious person
ezelisko 1
Once he considers planning as a form of prayer, run like hell.
MissHayleyJames 7
Damn. That must've been in one of the many Gospels the council voted out way back when. Guess they forgot to burn that one too and your new friend found it in a cave somewhere!
THE_A_TEEN 28
I believe this. My Psychic powers is enough evidence to prove it.
kipfischer 11
Ancient alien theory has just as much history behind it as religion what you fail to recognize is that even if we are hybrids with alien life forms who created them, and if they evolved much like science predicts then who created the process. I believe in a higher power but much like atheists cannot disprove god I cannot prove him.
DocBastard 40
What's crazier, believing the alien Jesus theory or believing that human beings "evolved" from monkeys? Monkeys!!! I mean, they're just monkeys! How the hell could we have "evolved" from silly little monkeys?!
ENLT 6
45 - you do realize nobody thinks we came from monkeys, right? Theory of evolution states we had a common ancestor, with different end results.
MissHayleyJames 7
I think the Big Bang Theory beats them all.
DocBastard 40
ENLT - thanks for the science lesson. It's a shame I never learned any of that stuff in any of my pre-med anatomy, biology, or biochemistry classes.
Haha_oh_wait 4
Man in sky or monkeys.... Hmmmm Give me monkeys.